Monday, September 24, 2012

Somebody that I used to know

**Found this post I drafted few months back. 

It's been a while since I wrote about emotional stuffs here.
So earlier today I was in a jolly mood. There's new engineer in my department. 3 years older than me. Then just normal day, took my office shoes for fixing, replacing my car aircond gas, made a police report about the Celcom postpaid thingy.(Since the Celcom guy/lady keep bugging me non stop to make the report) then Mamak. So that's that.

I reached home. Continue reading my Game of Thrones novel, then I got a text from my ex. We've been in good terms since the break up many years ago. No heart feeling. At least not at my side. He said he wanted to tell me something. I immediately guessed he'll be getting married soon. Because if he just wanted to tell me he got a cat, or bought a new pants, he won't be opening up with "I want to tell you something"  and I know for a fact he has a girlfriend though he rarely mentioned her.

So he IS getting married. End of this year. And said something like we cant communicate with each other anymore after this blabla. So I understand whatever the reason is, though for me its not that big of a deal but maybe it IS a big deal for him and his future wife, so I totally respect the decision. I congratulate and thank him and wish him well in the future.

Then I go back to my novel.

Then I realized I can't concentrate.

After Maghrib prayer, I kinda, get teary a little. just a LITTLE.:P
I felt weird. I did not cry at all when we broke up, though he was like the best guy I've ever met and dated.

Anyway, first of all maybe because, just these past few months, starting intern, I kinda contacted him a lot because the internship,then started working and everything. Since he's already working in Engineering field few years before me, he got a lot of things to say and tell. Though he's in Civil, but what he said did help me go through this working phase. So not be able to text him asking for opinion after this, makes me felt terkapai-kapai sikit..probably.:P

Another thing, and the most important thing, is because I know, I've LOST a friend. Probably forever.

I never ever hoped we'll get back together after the break up, even until now, for me there's always a reason why things happened the way they did, but just the fact that there's one person in the world that you used to know but you won't be able to hear from him EVER, that thought made me feel.. really sad.
Because I'm not the kind of person who hold grudges for long. This thing, made me feel like I'm an enemy. Like I'm a bad person.

But well, like I said, there's a reason.

So I wish him happy, and thanks for being in my life.
For that whole year and after, I learned a lot of things about myself, other people and the world.

Like always, I manage to survive by my own.=)

*It's a good thing I post this when it no longer affected my emotion.Give me a different perspective to everything.(^_^)

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

he come for some reason,
he leave for the better,

and at least he makes you smile for a period of time :)


dyazStuffs Copyright © 2010 Designed by Ipietoon Blogger Template Sponsored by Online Shop Vector by Artshare