Tuesday, October 31, 2017

Life Advice (Part 2)

Don’t work for anyone else

“What are you studying in school?”
“Uh, computer science.”
“Why do you like computer science?”
“Well I don’t, but there are lots of jobs in that field right now.”
Oh teenage David. Look at me. I’m twenty-nine and currently hatching a plan to escape from my second career. It’s not horrible, I just don’t want to spend half my waking life helping rich land developers get richer. I never did, though I didn’t always think I could do better.
Before you sign on for a chunk of college loan debt so you can learn what others say you should, hear me out.
What is normal in our society is to sell your time (customarily, forty hours of it per week, in five eight-hour stretches) for an agreed-upon flat rate. This is what most people do and what most people will tell you to do.
This is your time on earth. We’re talking about sizable pieces of the only life you’re going to have, sold to a company that — and let’s be honest — is probably not doing for the world what you’d like to do for the world. Do you really want your role on this planet to revolve around smoothly-running data entry systems? Insurance policies? Widgets?
But most people don’t see another way. The standard way to make a living is to rent yourself out for the better part of five days a week to achieve someone else’s purpose. In the time that remains, the weekends and the fleeting hours of the evening, you can live your life, or at the very least recover from your workweek. Sounds like a regular deal with the devil.
Rent out your forty hours like that, and somebody else gets to decide:
  • When that forty hours is (right through the prime daylight hours, almost always)
  • How you are to be spending that time, and why
  • What you are allowed to wear, do and say during that time
  • When you can take a vacation
  • Who you work with
  • When you deserve more money
  • What your purpose is, at least until 4:30
  • Whether to continue to supply your income or not
Once you’re playing this game, the main strategy is to make a lot of money for your boss, and over time they will share a small fraction of it with you in the form of incremental bumps in your salary.
You may luck out, of course. Some people do find that their own purpose matches the purpose of the person they sell their days to, so there’s no conflict there. But that’s not reality for most of us.
Don’t get mixed up in this racket.
What can you do instead? Do what your would-be boss is doing. Create something of value, and find the people who value it most. A service or a product that people value, and that others aren’t delivering as well, or at all.
If you need help to produce it, you will certainly be able to find a lot of people willing to sell you their time for a flat rate. If you need a method, there are hundreds of established, tested models in the library, online (yes, online), and at the bookstore. Pick one that speaks to you and see what happens.
The idea of running my own business always sounded preposterous. I fell for one of the biggest entrepreneurial myths: that you must risk a large sum of money to start a business venture. I think I came under that impression by watching an episode of Roseanne in which a financial advisor tells her she’d never heard of anyone starting a business for less than fifty thousand dollars. I missed the part where they said they were talking about restaurants.
I’d heard most businesses fail within five years (or something) and of course I pictured myself becoming part of that majority, ending up penniless in a green shack at the corner of Baltic and Mediterranean.
No, I dismissed any entrepreneurial ambitions long before I was done high school. I knew that such an uncompetitive, unambitious soul would always have to work for someone else. That was just reality.
So I jumped on the lucrative professional field du jour, computer programming. Four years later, I’d racked up some debt, run my self-esteem into the ground, forgotten everything I’d learned about computer programming, and started again in the engineering industry.
Now it’s another six years down the road, and I’ve left my job to travel abroad. When I return, I’m devoting as much time as it will take to create a bossless income. I’d rather work twelve hours a day for myself than eight for someone else.
Without this advice, teenage David will be entering a cycle of employer dependence he may never know he’s in. He’ll go to school, rack up some debt, and get a job. He won’t exactly hate his job, but he’ll still dread the fleeting, final hours of Sunday evenings, and he’ll still think Friday is necessarily a better day than Tuesday. Over the decades he might eventually trudge his way up to high five figures, possibly even topping out at the low sixes. He will always depend on others for his income and will only be able to travel in two-week stretches for the first sixty years of his life.
So, teenage David: Don’t sell your time to someone else’s purpose. You can do better. Be poor for a while if that’s what it will take.

***
Article from: http://www.raptitude.com/2010/02/3-pieces-of-advice-id-give-my-18-year-old-self-if-i-could/

Life Advice (Part 1)

**I read this article on the internet that I really love so I just wanna keep it here so I can revisit this every now and then. The article is actually quite long, I'll post them in two parts.


Every single day, get better at meeting people and developing relationships


These days I often describe myself as a “recovering introvert.” Comfort was the north on my personal compass, and talking to people I didn’t know was due south.
I was very much dependent on my existing friends to fulfill my social needs. I rarely took the initiative and made the plans. That I left to everyone else — because it entailed zero risk on my part.

Sticking to behavior with zero risk is a real tragedy, because it means there is no discomfort, and no discomfort means new ground is seldom broken. With that habit, social skills develop extremely slowly, because there is no need to learn anything you don’t already know how to do.
Please don’t only do what’s comfortable! That’s a perfect recipe for mediocrity. The older you get, the greater will be the gulf between what you could be and what you are, and the more sorry you’ll be.
When it comes to meeting people, it’s easy to avoid it because they’re only strangers then. You can always write off a stranger as irrelevant to your life, as you know it right now. But you don’t realize that that stranger could have been your best friend, your mentor, your key to a fantastic opportunity, or even your wife. Everyone you know now was a stranger once.
A new person in your life can open a new chapter. They can lead to new lines of work, new passions, new insight about the world and a broader, more colorful identity for you.
Most of my life, I resented people with connections. I hated that I had to resort to cold calling to find a job lead, while other people could just drop a friend an email. Of course, I didn’t see that this doesn’t happen by accident.
I always waited for others to take the lead in social situations. I would always defer to somebody with more skills or more guts, and soon I began to identify myself as a second, a subordinate, a beta personality. Clawing your way back from a subordinate social role is a hell of a battle, and the later you start the tougher the climb. Don’t let yourself slip that far.
Be a figure in a lot of other people’s lives, and keep bringing new people into your life. Meet people every day. Initiate conversations. Don’t shrink away.
***
Article from: http://www.raptitude.com/2010/02/3-pieces-of-advice-id-give-my-18-year-old-self-if-i-could/

Wednesday, October 04, 2017

Of my 2nd job - Personal Tutoring

I might have not put every details about my life in the blog for the past few years.(Only big ones) So here's one.

Other than my 9-5 job, I have been a personal tutor for high school students for 3 years now.
In the first two years I just took every subject offered, Maths, Science, English for PT3, English UPSR, Maths & Add Maths for SPM. Physics(which I love), even Chemistry at some point(which I do not).
First few years also I've been learning how to deal with high school teenager, how to make them interested, and few teaching approach.

But for the past year, I've been focusing on Maths and Add Maths for Form 4 &5 students because I believe focusing on one or two things and be an expert on it is better than being jack of all trades master of none. Honestly I don't really know how to teach Science,because it's more to understanding theories and lab experiments. And English, well, I love to learn languages but I don't know how to teach them either. I could do it, but not as good as Maths subjects. So why teach something you're not 100% good at if you have subjects that you do.

I used to teach in tuition center during the night but now I only do private one to one session at student's house. I do want to teach Physics on top of Maths & Add Maths but private tutoring demands are actually more to Maths, Science, English and Bahasa Malaysia.

In tuition center however, ability to teach subjects like Physics, Chemistry and Biology are the ones that been sought after.

I used to do it for extra money, but now, on top of that, I do it for the satisfaction. When the kids got better by time, when they no longer make the same mistake, when their grade improve.

Plus I've been feeling that my 9-5 job doesn't really help other people, rather helping the industry, so teaching is something I do that makes me feel I'm helping other person directly.

So yeah that's it, I'm also been toying with the idea of becoming a lecturer one day, but for that I need to continue my studies. But if it does happen at least I have these teaching experience up my sleeves. We'll see what happens.=)

Friday, July 14, 2017

PTPTN Stuffs

Masa baru habis belajar dulu, PTPTN agak lenient dalam hal hal pembayaran. So saya bayar mana yang mampu sebab gaji pertama agak kecil.
(Tapi sebenarnya kalau berjimat cermat boleh je nak bayar, tapi yelah fresh grad baru pegang duit kan.)
So kalau ada 50 saya bayar 50 kalau boleh bayar 200 saya bayar 200, kalau dapat bonus sy bayar lebih lagi. Dan ada juga beberapa bulan, yang saya memang tak bayar langsung. Sebab mmg ada beberapa tempoh yang saya mempunyai commitment tinggi. 
Tapi saya belum di blacklist dalam tempoh itu. Saya pun pelik, tapi ada yang kata sebab saya masih bayar, walaupun tidak konsisten. Yang kena blacklist ialah yang langsung tidak bayar from the start. Thats why saya masih boleh travel kesana sini dalam beberapa tahun ni.

So nak dijadikan cerita, lepas kahwin saya dan boyfren (belum mahu panggil husband lg, hee) plan our first travel this July. Tak jauh pun, Indonesia sahaja. Lagipun ada hamba Allah yang baik hati bagi kami tiket penginapan di Bali. Saya pun belum pernah ke Bali, so oklah. 
Cumanya boyfren kena blacklist PTPTN. Saya check, saya masih OK so sebulan sebelum pergi, kami cuba settle kan baki tertunggak menggunakan KWSP akaun dua dia. Dia selesaikan half daripada baki tunggakan so dapat la diskaun 15%.

Beberapa minggu sebelum itu, sekitar awal bulan June, saya ada pergi PTPTN di cawangan USJ untuk tanya berapa bayaran bulanan saya sekarang sebab saya plan nak mula bayar bulan2 pakai potongan gaji. Sebab komitmen pun dah berkurang sikit dan kalau boleh taknak di blacklist. Staff dia cakap patut saya pun kena bayar semua, tapi since saya belum di blacklist maintain lah bayar bulan bulan. So saya pun setuju bayar RM400 sebulan. Tarikh tolakan ialah pada 10hb dan 27hb. Gaji saya masuk 24hb so kalau tiada baki dlm bank pada 10hb dia akan tolak lagi pada 27hb. Ini dalam bulan puasa, so gaji bulan June ni dia akan start tolak.

So masa hari boyfren pergi PTPTN (ini bulan July cawangan Ayer 8 Putrajaya) untuk tanya prosedur selepas thumbprint, saya tergerak nak check status saya, dan rupa-rupanya, saya pun dah kena blacklist. Hahaha. Padahal duit dah ditolak pada 27hb June. Saya tanya staff PTPTN tu bila sy di blacklist. Dia kata dalam bulan June. So saya buat kesimpulan, saya yang mengada2 cari pasal. Kalau saya just bayar je PTPTN bulan2 without pergi consult org PTPTN untuk kirakan monthly installment dan buat penolakan gaji, saya rasa saya masih selamat. Tapi since saya pergi USJ haritu, saya letakkan diri saya dalam radar PTPTN. Dan once dia gagal deduct duit pada 10hb, terus saya di blacklist sbb sy mmg dah ada tunggakan pun. Bak kata orang, lembu yang bagi leher dia untuk disembelih. Hahaha gelakkan diri sendiri.
So hari tu dengan saya2 sekali buat rundingan untuk bayaran balik. 
Esoknya 7hb July saya register i-akaun KWSP.

So macamana prosedur nak bayar PTPTN pakai EPF akaun dua? Simple je.
1. Pergi ke PTPTN dulu buat rundingan, berapa yang perlu dibayar untuk hilangkan blacklist. Memang patutnya perlu bayar semua baki yang tertunggak. (Baki tertunggak ni means kalau kita habis study tahun 2010 tempoh bayaran sampai 2015, sekarang is 2017, means kita ada baki tertunggak selama 2 tahun) Tapi kita boleh buat rundingan dan selalunya bayaran minima ialah 25%. Saya bayar RM5000 sahaja, boyfren pulak memilih untuk bayar half dari baki tertunggak dia. 

2. Then kita pergi KWSP cakap nak buat pengeluaran berapa amaun yang nak dibayar tadi, dia akan suruh kita create i-KWSP akaun di website KWSP.
Kalau tak pergi KWSP pun takpe, hanya call, sebab dia akan bagi password sementara untuk login.
Kita perlu login pakai nombor KWSP kita dan password sementara tadi. Dan bila Login kita kena tukar password. Dan apply untuk pengeluaran dalam website tersebut.

Kalau kita pergi pejabat KWSP dia akan tolong kita buat dekat sana terus. Kalau call mungkin dia akan bagi step by step, kalau macam boyfren, staff kwsp email/whatssap step by step instruction.

i-KWSP ni cara baru untuk kita buat pengeluaran akaun 2. Untuk semua tujuan lain juga, macam pengeluaran untuk housing loan, atau umrah/Haji. Masa saya buat pengeluaran untuk Housing Loan tahun 2014 belum ada lagi i-KWSP ni. So sekarang dah lebih mudah.


3. Lepas kita dah request, dia akan register, lepas register after dua ke tiga hari dia akan approve.
Lepas approve KWSP akan call untuk kita pergi thumbprint dokumen pengeluaran di mana-mana pejabat KWSP. Masa ni diorang akan perlukan bukti kita dah habis belajar, contoh, transkrip pengajian atau Degree/Diploma Certificate lah. Jangan lupa photostat siap siap sebab sesetengah KWSP tiada perkhidmatan photostat.

Kalau tiada masalah, cepat lah, thumbprint serah salinan Cert dan terus balik. Tapi macam saya ada descripancy dekat nama course di Degree Cert dan nama course di offer letter PTPTN, staff KWSP takut pegawai dia tak approve, so saya kena pergi PTPTN balik minta pegawai dia keluarkan surat yang menyatakan diorang aware akan perkara ni untuk sokong application saya di KWSP tadi.
Macam kes saya, asalnya saya ambil course Electronics Majoring in Multimedia, by sem ke tiga, saya tukar course ke Electrical tapi disebab kan course nya sama 4 tahun juga, dan amount pinjaman pun sama, saya tak perlu request pinjaman balik. Thats why offer letter PTPTN saya masih Electronics Majoring in Multimedia. So saya pergi ke PTPTN keesokan harinya dan minta pegawai buat kan surat. 
Saya suka dengan staff PTPTN Ayer 8 Putrajaya sebab diorang sangat helpful dan sangat cepat berurusan, mesra alam (dan tak judgemental).
So dah dapat surat terus saya ke KWSP hari yang sama untuk serahkan kepada pegawai untuk approval.

4. Bila dah dapat approval dari KWSP, means KWSP dah transfer amount sekian2 ke PTPTN, kita perlu pergi PTPTN untuk isi borang Ujrah. Masa saya request for surat sokongan tadi, Boyfren sudah dalam proses isi borang ujrah, dan beli setem hasil dan dia terus submit. Ujrah ni perlu untuk restructure balik bayaran untuk baki yang selebih nya. Macam boyfren, lepas ni dia hanya perlu bayar remaining baki RM100sebulan, sebab baki dia dah tinggal sikit. 

Selepas submit borang ujrah barulah PTPTN boleh clear nama dari blacklist.
So Boyfren harini 14July dengan rasmi nya sudah tidak blacklist lagi.



But I still am. T_T

Kalau blacklisted, dia akan keluar statement macam ni. 

Sebab boyfren dah apply dulu sebelum saya realize yg saya pun blacklist, so dia dah settle dulu. Sekarang saya sedang tunggu kelulusan dari KWSP selepas hantar surat sokongan dari PTPTN tadi. Mungkin dalam beberapa hari. Kalau ok saya tinggal untuk isi borang ujrah dan clear blacklist.


Keseluruhannya, proses ni tak susah, ikutkan tak payah ambil cuti pun, kita boleh check sendiri baki tertunggak di wenbsite PTPTN, buat i-KWSP akaun, hanya pergi bila nak thumbprint di KWSP. Isi borang Ujrah pun rasanya boleh submit online. Sebab staff PTPTN banyak yang boleh berbincang menggunakan whatsapp dan email.

Tapi disebab kan kami nak cepat, kami terus pergi sebab kadang2 staff ni banyak kerja dan terlupa reply whatsapp/email dokumen. So kalau kita terus pergi, lagi cepat proses.

Macam boyfren, everything settled in less than 3 weeks. 
Proses saya masih berjalan sebab saya baru apply 7hb July, skarang dah seminggu. Kami akan travel pada 23hb July InsyaAllah.
So harap nya dipermudah kan.

So kepada adik2 diluar jangan jadi macam saya, kalau pinjam apa saja study loan, buat potongan gaji dari awal,
Ada kawan saya yang istiqomah bayar study loan dr mula kerja, sekarang dah habis bayar pun.
Kalau bayar sikit2 macam saya lambat lah habis.
Bagus juga dia implement blacklist/ccris ni sebab saya org yg suka travel dan berniat nk tambah property, so dia akan buat kan saya usaha nak bayar supaya saya tiada halangan untuk buat semua ni. 
Bagi saya, bila saya meminjam, saya memang perlu bayar. Selagi tak habis bayar, saya akan rasa tak puas hati. Cuma awal-awal dulu saya kalah dengan perasaan nak shopping dan leniency PTPTN. T_T
InsyaAllah, lepas ni isu PTPTN boleh settle.

OK.sampai sini cerita PTPTN.

Nanti cerita lain pula.

****Update 19 July:
KWSP da approve payment ke PTPTN lebih kurang 9.15am, terus whatsapp staff PTPTN, dia terus clear blacklist on the spot.
Ujrah boleh buat later. Alhamdulillah.
Da xpayah check website KWSP 500 kali sehari da.hehehe.

Sunday, June 18, 2017

My Wedding - The Hit and Miss - Part 3

THE SOLEMNIZATION

1. The Nikah dress

TOTAL MISS
My solemnization dress is another story that I'm trying to forget but at the end it turned up looking less terrible in photos.
I just want a simple long dress with decoration on the waist and wrist. Like the silhouette of this Alia B piece.

So for the material, I bought a white Italian crepe or something(can't remember the exact name) in Jakel that cost around RM58 per meter and the color match the dutchess satin that my husband bought for his baju melayu, then because the material is thin, I need to buy another material for the inner layer, so the salesman give me another piece that cost RM8 per meter. This one is a yellowish white soft material to be use as the inside part. Since it will be so simple of a dress, I didn't expect any problem at all for this one.

Long story short, my first tailor made it the other way around, the inside one as the outside and the Italian crepe as the inside. I literally cried.

But then we go to another tailor, there's nothing she can do about the inside out material but she did some decorations to make the dress look a bit better.
On the dais, enhanced by the photographer spot light, the color of my dress doesn't look that much different from my husband.



 But outside, during the outdoor session, the difference in color/material is quite obvious and you can see the yellowish white material in contrast to my husband shiny white baju melayu.

Notice the difference
 
You can see the contrast from my husband here, and you can even see the hem lining of the sewing.T_T..

But at least I have this photo that I love.

2. The White Henna
HIT
So moving on from the Miss, another HIT was my white henna that made by Fiza Henna Art Ipoh.

Again I chose a simple decoration.

Some little part have peeled off because dah salam-salam my husband's relatives before the nikah.
This pic was taken after nikah.

I never was a fan of the traditional red henna, so this white one really was a hit for me. Have to answer few curious question from Opah and Mak Yang who were not used to see this white henna but thats something you have to do if you break the tradition a little.

THE DAIS/PHOTOBOOTH

HIT
1. The Dais for Nikah
Is our DIY project. I did asked the help from a friend who did a Pelamin Budget jobs in Penang, but he did not take jobs outside Penang due to transportation issue. And I believe they have another job in Penang so we decided to just rent some of the stuffs and make the dais ourself.

We rented the mirror box, shiny vase, the white carpets, the white ottoman pillows, the spotlights and some of the flowers at Something Borrowed by Nawal in Cyberjaya.
The rest - the sofa, the backdrop, the platform and the rest of the flowers are from Rafa Bridal, Taiping.
And my husband and my brothers did the rest.

Oh another thing that we rent is our hantaran boxes. I was looking for a glass box, but since it was last minute I only found mirror box at Supercun Wedding in Setia Alam.

So for the dais, my initial idea is very simple,we plan to do something like this,


but we got carried away as usual.


But the end result is so pretty, still simple though, and I'm really glad we did it ourselves.




 Husband's family

My family


Love this photo of both our parents cause their clothe's color complements the dais perfectly.

2. The Photobooth During Reception
Since we don't want another dais during reception, we plan to DIY a photobooth instead and it is 100% done by my husband with the help of our photographer. I just managed to help untangle the curtain lights before I have to go to hair and make up. I'm really nervous of how it will turned up  but when I first saw it I squeaked in excitement. It was exactly like what I've imagined and more.


We also rent the props from various places. Marquee letters from Bulbventure, the LED cable(the one on the floor) and the photo frame stand from Something Borrowed By Nawal and the chandelier light and bench from D'ratu Bridal Taiping.
The light curtain behind we bought from Lazada. We have other orders from Lazada but it didn't arrive before the event so we only use that one curtain lights. But thank God it turned out okay.
I love the simplicity of it and the feel it gave me.
*Notice the left chandelier is not lighted cos we've run out of plugs.

Some might ask if DIY dais and photobooth is cheaper than hiring a wedding planner?
Honestly I cant really say it is because we rent the items for both nikah dais and photobooth reception together. But in total we might have spent around RM1100-RM1300 for rental items from SBBN,Rafa Bridal,Bulbventure and D'ratu.
From what I see on social media the normal price for my nikah dais type is around RM600-800, and I've no idea about our photobooth. So I don't think its cheaper. At the very least its comparable.

The venue.

One with the family.

I've requested my family to wear maroon as to complement my dusty pink. And they did their best to follow that. Even the one my younger brother wears (on the right most) which was actually dark purple, (we even argue on this after he bought it), but it turned out to be maroon in the picture.

One with mommy

And one with the siblings.

All in all, I'm happy of how everything turned out. However thorough we plan the event, it will definitely not turned out 100% as we expected. 

I wish for a simple ceremony but it doesn't turned up as simple as I wish it had been. 1000 guest is not a simple wedding but like I said, wedding is not only for the bride/groom but it's also for the parents. And like I said in my previous post on 'Kahwin simple', I lost to my parents desire and also for mine (particularly on the dress).
I really believed we could spend RM10K for one ceremony for only relatives and close friends.
But for this one, my husband spent close to RM15K, another RM10K from my part more or less (the one that I wish I could use for my 30th birthday trip T_T..) and I believed dad threw in some RM5K on top of it. Mom some few hundreds for wedding gifts.
Surprisingly not cheap considering we DIY few things on our own. 

Imagine what we could've done with RM30K. We could buy ourselves a second house.T_T..
But that's our culture, and I didn't managed to break it.

Hopefully someone will and I cant wait for our society to change this culture entirely.

For the aftermath of the ceremony, there are a lot of things that me and my family cannot control, even more so being the first one to got married in the family. I believe my parents had no clue of what there is to do.
So again I'd like to apologize to any friends and relatives who came from afar and not satisfied with the food or any other thing. But your presents light up our ceremony and we are grateful that you spend your time sharing the moment with us. 
And despite everything, I'm also thankful for the makeup artist, photographers, and the caterers who also contributing to the event.
Not mentioning my families, aunts and uncles, cousins, relatives near and far, my friends, housemates, colleagues, schoolmates, uni mates, may God bless all of you.

Now that the event is done, its time to focus on more important thing, the marriage itself.
InsyaAllah.

Saturday, June 17, 2017

My wedding - The Hit and Miss Part 2


THE WEDDING DRESS



HIT
1.The color of the material and the veil
Was perfect. I need to match it with the beaded lace I bought of dusty pink color, but I couldn't find them myself and no time to search for it, but in the end the designer found them and it was the perfect color.

The detail of the lace


The small beads on the train

2. The Fitting of the body
My first try the dress doesn't fit me nicely and I doesn't look like a princess whatsoever. But after that they take off few inches and it fits me perfectly.

3. The back design.
The back has V-shaped design that I love so very much, but unfortunately there's not a lot of photos of me from the back so it didn't really show in the pictures.

 second fitting

MISS
1. The Fitting on the hand/arm.

Because I bought a beaded lace, cutting the lace is a big problem to the tailor because when they cut it the beads will fall. They did suggest me to buy plain lace and they will hand sewn the beads later but I think this will be tricky because the design of the beads will not be as the imagination I had in my head. Plus it will be expensive if they do it one time and I'm not satisfied and they have to alter, it takes time and of course more money.

Wrist part is not fitted to my wrist.

If I bought the lace already with beads on it, I knew how it looked like and I already love it.
So for the wrist, they don't wanna make it smaller as to not risk the beads on the wrist falls out. I also did ask for inside zipper on the wrist part but again they said it's hard to cut the lace and put the zipper on it.

50-50
1. The Length of the train



I already told the designer my reception will be outdoor and at a garden, and it probably will rain so it will probably be muddy and wet and I will be wearing a five inch heel on the grass. But for some reason she still make a long train. Yes it IS beautiful - REALLY beautiful.
But it is not practical. I cant move freely up and down the sloped mini-hill from the photobooth down to the guest canopy. I'm already holding a bouquet on one hand and I need to hold my train on the other and my husband need to hold me so I didn't fall flat on my face.


My wedding dress really made me feel at war with my self. I could've just rent one at wayy cheaper price. But after number of visits to bridal boutique, I decided that I have no time for visiting more. I only have weekends and some of the boutique, you just enter and you know the design is old. The one with new designs are always full of people and the nicest ones are always taken, dirty or not in my size. And I'm getting tired to wait for my turn for changing room, being in and out of the heavy dresses, so I decided to go for made to measure, buy my own lace and material and find a designer to make it for me. Even though the material is way more than my budget and I knew the end result might not be as what I pictured it in my head, but hat's the risk I'm willing to take. For example, the boat neck is actually a bit different from what I imagined and the way they cut my lace is also not as I've had imagined. But in the end I actually love the dress. It's really me. So it was neither a hit nor a miss or it was both hit and miss.

Overall I'm REALLY happy with my dress and I would recommend the boutique Tepaksireh Bridal located at Glomac Square, Kelana Jaya. The designer is very friendly and responsive, they even provide me with the crown and also pin for my husband's songkok for nikah.
They also have rental wedding dresses and their design is pretty up-to-date but have the unique feel to it. Takde la semua asyik design kepok2 macam beberapa butik lain. I mean, I know the kepok2 trend is very in now, but maybe its not for everyone.

HAIR & MAKE UP

50-50
I always saw pictures of brides and I always say I DON'T want thick make up on my wedding day.
I don't want to "transform" and look like another person and I don't wanna look too white from my original skin color.
However during the whole makeup process, I got calls from some of the food vendors numerous times asking this and that and I don't have time to check the progress on my make up.
As a result, I became the bride that I always say I don't want to be.

The make up was pretty, the color the make-up artist use, suits me, but I really don't quite like that my foundation is too thick, hence too white that she need to touch up my neck because the color difference T_T.. and after it's done, there's no more time to alter. So I just go with it.



 I love the general tone, the lip color, the eye shadow, the blusher. 
Only the foundation.

I have no complain on the hair part since my hair is already troublesome as it is, being so fine and thin. The fact that they managed to make it right without having to use extension is already a BIG HIT for me.


I actually cant believe this is all MY HAIR, not even a strand of hair extension.

So overall I'm also satisfied with my MUA Nurul Elya Hilal Azman, because she did know what color that suit my overall look. 

THE PHOTOGRAPHER

Photographer is another issue. We already planned to use our friend as a photographer. But apparently he's not. That's another negative story that I don't want to repeat.

So we hire one after doing a research on Instagram. The OP and his assistant were very friendly. They can give ideas and also listen to our ideas.
One thing that I noticed, they are the photographers that focuses more on the quality of the pictures but not the people inside the picture.
For example, my body posture, I have a bad posture. I always hunch if nobody reminds me.
I promise to myself that I will not hunch on my wedding day but when you are greeted with a lot of people, you are wearing your 5 inch heels, you are holding your hand bouquet and your long train on one hand and hold on to your husband for stability on your other hand, you forgot about not hunching. Once my aunt remind me, "Along,stand straight" Which I gladly obliged, but I will hunch again after few minutes.
And worst is when it appears on photos. The photographers didn't mentioned it to me.


This is the photo that the photographer use as our main photo and one of the two that got framed.
I LOVE the concept and lighting. Honestly. But I was hunching big time. 

I used to do photoshoots for magazine, I don't know whether magazine and wedding photographers are any difference but magazine photographers cares about how the model looked on the pictures, they'll ask you to stand straight,(even scolds you sometimes) to sit straight, chin up mostly, pose the right way to make it a photoshoot worthy photos. So even you have no posing experience before, your photos will turned up good.
But my photographers focuses more on lighting, the sharpness of the image, or any other technical aspects of the photos more than how me and my husband looked in the photos. Yes, that shows that they are really a good photographers technically but If they also give priority on how the bride & grooms look, it'll be much better.

The photos are all amazing, don't take me wrong, I just don't look good in some of it.


Take this one as an example. It does look good at a glance. But if you look closely I don't only hunch, but my hair is already flat and curled from the sweat. This was taken during the end of the reception when the guest has recede and we took the chance to take a photo of two of us. Only problem is we already sweating like hell and I have nobody to touch up my hair. And if you noticed the big pink flower from my husband's corsage (to match my pink dress) also already fallen off, only the small yellow ones are left.
But credit to the make-up artist though because my makeup stayed on even after sweating a lot.

I really hope the photographers didn't use these for their promotional photos. I believe they did for the previous photo.
But as a viewer/potential customer, If I'm looking at the photos these photographers post on their social media, I don't look on the technical side that much, I don't know about lighting composition of the photo, or sharpness of the image or what not, I only see how pretty the bride/groom look and how gorgeous the background is. So if I can give advise to the photographer, I'll say that, yes not all bride is beautiful, but they can be the most beautiful version of themselves with the help of the photographer.

Other than this, overall pictures of the photographer are really beautiful. For me as long as we have photos, it should be enough. Here are some of my favourites.

When my husband have to fix my hair. And I don't look hunch. Hehe






Continue on the last part - Part 3.

Friday, June 16, 2017

My Wedding - The Hit and Miss Part 1

My wedding turned to be not exactly as I wanted but there's still a lot of good things I can take away from it.

To be honest, our initial plan is to get married somewhere in November last year, because I have travel plans on my 30th birthday in December.

I've made plans for my 30th birthday since I was 28. But that was a plan for me alone. Now that I have my fiancee, of course it would be better if he could go with me.

So we plan to just have a simple nikah on November and the ceremony somewhere in 2017. So that we can go travelling as a married couple.
I already saw a lot of my friend did this.
But I was so stupid and naive thinking that my parents would be on board with this idea.

So hundreds of fights later, I lost and we had our wedding on April 2017, both nikah and ceremony.
I missed my 30th birthday trip that I have planned for two years.
(Noted that 30 only happened once in a lifetime, and I've been freaking out about turning 30 for like a year, but its not important right?Sigh..)

So when my 30th birthday turned out not as I expected, I tried using force to have a ceremony as I wanted.
I dont want to have a lot of guest, I want to have a small ceremony with only close relatives and friends. My idea is to only spend RM10K on my wedding.(Again stupid and naive to think that it could happened),less than 500 guest and in a place that is not a hall.

So I chose Sentosa Villa, because the venue could only place 500 guests and nikah at home just for close relatives and anak yatim that could be no more than 100 people.

But my dad have different plans. He initially wanted to invite 1000 or more people (because of his position and he had a lot of friends and colleagues and relatives to invite) and suggested our ceremony to be done in a hall. I managed to dodged the hall but my dad invited 500 more people in the nikah ceremony at home where I expected the guest is only around 100. So at the end it became 1000 plus.T_T

This is what it meant about your wedding is not only for you. It's for your family too.
Eventhough I insisted that my parents have 3 other kids they can do whatever they want on their other kids wedding but I'm the only girl. SO I STILL LOST.

I have a lot to write so this will be a three part post.

So here's the list o the hit and miss.

FOOD & CATERING
I leave the food choice to my dad, because he's the one choosing the caterer for both venue.
Me and my husband don't really have a bite that day being the bride/groom
, u never had the appetite the whole day. so did my parents, so I don't really know how the food was like.

HIT
1. I heard people said that the food during my nikah was good. My dad hire a caterer that did kampung dishes. So that was one hit.

MISS
1. I also heard people said the food in Sentosa Villa was not quite. Yes some of my colleague said the food was good but I 100% believed they were trying to sugarcoat it. Because I heard few comments being otherwise. I felt bad because some who came to Sentosa Villa came from far places, Penang and KL.
So if some of you read this, I'm truly sorry if the food was not satisfactory. We truly have no control over that. Of course we hoped the food would be good and my dad hires the caterer whom he knew could deliver but if when it turned out not as expected, there's nothing we could do. So we are truly sorry.

2. The Vegetarian food.
If Gaya and her family or Aunty Viji read this, I had prepared vegetarian food for Gaya's family and Aunt Viji and her friend who came all the way from KL. I ordered two meals from an Indian restaurant for both my nikah at home and Sentosa Villa. Problem is, they could not deliver it, we need to pick it up. And Gaya could only come during the nikah, and Aunt Viji could only come at Sentosa Villa.
So on my nikah day, we have nobody to pick up the food, so I have to ask my brothers to help pick it up after my nikah. So Gaya and her family have to wait a while for the food to come and when it arrived they have to wait a while for it to be served. Nasib baik the caterer was willing to help serve the food. I dont know how it tasted like I hope it was ok.T_T..
And at Sentosa, I have no choice than to beg the restaurant owner to deliver the vegetarian noodle. Because everybody else is busy and I was in the hair and make up.
At the end the restaurant owner agree to ask his guy to deliver it, (the restaurant is already near to Sentosa Villa anyway). I've asked the caterer owner to help put this vegetarian food at one place and put a marking on it earlier on. But when the food came, there's nobody there to receive it so they just put it on one of the VIP table.
And nobody cared to put the food at the buffet table so those who sit on the table eat them and Aunt Viji and her friend didn't.T_T another MISS to the caterer again.


3.The caterers choice of color for the canopy and the Bride & Groom's dining table at Sentosa Villa.

We NEVER asked for peach color if our memory serves us right. We asked for CREAM.
But at that point we no longer cared. It was pretty even though its not the color we wanted.




Oops my husband is not sleeping. 


See, peach have the tendency to looked orange.
My dress is dusty pink my family color is maroon and I don't know how peach/orange will complement dusty pink and maroon. T__T

Continue on part 2.

Saturday, May 13, 2017

Tying the knot

If you knew me, I'm one of those who getting married is the last thing on her to-do-list.
But I'm a fan of early marriage too, IF and only IF, you already have someone you trust to spend your whole life with. I did write a lengthy post on that years ago.

If you already found the one early, then by all means, get married. But if you are single, there's nothing wrong with it, just enjoy life and be happy. Love will find its way. 
Don't force something that might not meant to happen yet.

In my case, I kinda already prepared to live alone till I'm old. I have arranged the next 3 years plan of what I wanna do. Alone. 

I started travelling on my own. 
My first solo trip was to Sabah, just to get a taste of what it's like to travel on my own, then when I get the hang of it, I went further to Koh Lipe. Then a little more further to the beautiful Palawan,
Then I pluck up all my courage to go beyond the continent and hence my trip to Turkey and Greece.

I came home with the biggest satisfaction I have so far. Some kind of fulfillment, or accomplishment. Couldn't really say.

Just a huge amount of endorphin release.

And then after few days, I got strucked with one question.

What's next?

I'm in the midst of planning my next best thing, coming up with plan, scratching it up, come up with other plans, and got stuck.

Then,  out of nowhere, this guy came to me. (Or came back to me)

He was a classmate from Form1(1999) till brief period of Form4 before I moved to Penang.

We used to went out together somewhere 7 years ago. But it ended up badly after some time. I did write it here somewhere too.

I did ask God,
Why him? of all people in the world?

The cocky, a tad bit egoist, famous sportsman who doesn't even glance at me in school. Might even mock or sneer at me at some point. I hated most of my classmates (if not all) at the time and I was trying my best to forget or at least repress all the bad memories i have  from that period of time.

So why did God send me this almost perfect guy, but he came from a period of my life that I'm trying to leave far behind?
what kind of game is this?

But then I realize, God always have reasons.
This guy cared for me.
The only person in the world who cared for me the way I always wanted to be cared.
He is not the boy I knew 17 years ago.
He is now a totally different man. He's a version 2.0 of himself.

He scolds me like a dad, asked me to pray like a dad and warn my spending like a dad.
He caress my head like a mom did to their kids, peeled my shrimp for me like a mom did for their kids, calms me when I'm down like a mom did to their kids 
He is chivalrous like a brother, protective like a brother, humorous like a brother.
He listen to me like a sister, give fashion advise like a sister and cry with me like a sister.

What else a girl who always feel uncared could've asked for?

So I marry the guy, and like every other couples, wishing this relationship will last beyond our lives.
Wishing this relationship will bring us closer to God.

I'm not the kind of person who displays affection in social media. I'm concerned of what others might think or say, or some might get offended, or some might think its inappropriate, Yes I'm overthinking, I can't help it it's wired in my brain T_T. I even complain to him if he did, (cos he loves to post stuffs on Facebook)
But I figured, once in a while I should, show or tell, how I feel , not for others to see, but for him to know, that I actually more than appreciate, grateful even, for all the things he has done for me all this years, for coming back to me, and for just, merely existing.

Alhamdulillah.

That's all I can say.
 

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