Saturday, May 13, 2017

Tying the knot

If you knew me, I'm one of those who getting married is the last thing on her to-do-list.
But I'm a fan of early marriage too, IF and only IF, you already have someone you trust to spend your whole life with. I did write a lengthy post on that years ago.

If you already found the one early, then by all means, get married. But if you are single, there's nothing wrong with it, just enjoy life and be happy. Love will find its way. 
Don't force something that might not meant to happen yet.

In my case, I kinda already prepared to live alone till I'm old. I have arranged the next 3 years plan of what I wanna do. Alone. 

I started travelling on my own. 
My first solo trip was to Sabah, just to get a taste of what it's like to travel on my own, then when I get the hang of it, I went further to Koh Lipe. Then a little more further to the beautiful Palawan,
Then I pluck up all my courage to go beyond the continent and hence my trip to Turkey and Greece.

I came home with the biggest satisfaction I have so far. Some kind of fulfillment, or accomplishment. Couldn't really say.

Just a huge amount of endorphin release.

And then after few days, I got strucked with one question.

What's next?

I'm in the midst of planning my next best thing, coming up with plan, scratching it up, come up with other plans, and got stuck.

Then,  out of nowhere, this guy came to me. (Or came back to me)

He was a classmate from Form1(1999) till brief period of Form4 before I moved to Penang.

We used to went out together somewhere 7 years ago. But it ended up badly after some time. I did write it here somewhere too.

I did ask God,
Why him? of all people in the world?

The cocky, a tad bit egoist, famous sportsman who doesn't even glance at me in school. Might even mock or sneer at me at some point. I hated most of my classmates (if not all) at the time and I was trying my best to forget or at least repress all the bad memories i have  from that period of time.

So why did God send me this almost perfect guy, but he came from a period of my life that I'm trying to leave far behind?
what kind of game is this?

But then I realize, God always have reasons.
This guy cared for me.
The only person in the world who cared for me the way I always wanted to be cared.
He is not the boy I knew 17 years ago.
He is now a totally different man. He's a version 2.0 of himself.

He scolds me like a dad, asked me to pray like a dad and warn my spending like a dad.
He caress my head like a mom did to their kids, peeled my shrimp for me like a mom did for their kids, calms me when I'm down like a mom did to their kids 
He is chivalrous like a brother, protective like a brother, humorous like a brother.
He listen to me like a sister, give fashion advise like a sister and cry with me like a sister.

What else a girl who always feel uncared could've asked for?

So I marry the guy, and like every other couples, wishing this relationship will last beyond our lives.
Wishing this relationship will bring us closer to God.

I'm not the kind of person who displays affection in social media. I'm concerned of what others might think or say, or some might get offended, or some might think its inappropriate, Yes I'm overthinking, I can't help it it's wired in my brain T_T. I even complain to him if he did, (cos he loves to post stuffs on Facebook)
But I figured, once in a while I should, show or tell, how I feel , not for others to see, but for him to know, that I actually more than appreciate, grateful even, for all the things he has done for me all this years, for coming back to me, and for just, merely existing.


That's all I can say.

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