Sama-Sama Orang Kampung

 I totally TOTALLY believe this was just a case of hormonal haywire.

Like I mentioned in my previous post, Wnjek onsighted this route on Day 7, Berg almost onsighted it but fell on last quickdraw, Acaan tried it with rests but convinced that he can send it the next day. 

So Day 8 me and Pian plan to join Acaan projecting it within that half a day, before we move on to Bukit Jernih crag in the afternoon. 

So Pian flashed it, and then and Acaan sent it like he said he would. So I have some confidence that I can send the route at that same morning, within that same hour. And for some reason I have this huge out-of-no-where made-up responsibility to sent the route at the time. Like the last cherry on top of the cake to bring home after sending my main projects. 

But the route was effing long, compared to Keretapi and Zamboney which were just 18m, this route was probably double that height. It anchors were almost the same line as Mata Timur.

The hard moves were just the first 4 quickdraws, monos and weirdly positioned pockets back to back. Acaan said once I figured that first 4, the rest are just endurance fest, only the anchor is tricky because you need to do a bit of a dynamic moves before getting to the anchor and reminded me when Berg lost his onsight because of that. He told me to utilize all the rest points that the route has.

So, I passed the first 4 qds, and just working my way up. After about half way, after 18m I realized that I haven't been climbing long routes in awhile, and I'm getting nervous. I'm getting nervous if I'm not able to send this routes like all the boys did. 

So I took an effing long time at the rest points to make sure I have enough gas to do the anchor moves.

The noon sun was starting to show and Acaan was starting to get hot down there since I took my time to rest. But I really wanted to send the route.

And then I reached the last quickdraw, my mental was 100% scared at this time, not scared of falling but scared of failing. I REALLY WANTED THIS SEND. I REALLY WANTED THIS FREAKING CHERRY. 

Whoever was on Mata section at the time, Pian, Kev who were about to repel down to the ground. And also Thong Pak and Alex, was shouting allez! and Pian was trying his best to give his beta(while descending to the ground). But I'm too afraid to fail the move that I'm scared to even attempt it. 

Many time I regress back to the resting point to calm my thought and slowed down my breath but my wanting too much really affected me to attempt and when I finally tried, I failed to catch the jug.

Aaaaand like I said, I cried like I did when my kitten died.

Totally can't control it.

Hence I do believe it wasnt me, its the fucking hormones that betrayed me like it always does.

Anyway, I tried it couple of time, and I though atleast I topped it since I cant send it today, it was already noon.

And I topped it.

But I realize, my current fitness level/endurance level is really not enough send that route in just 2 attempts. And my mental expectation was making it worse.

If we were to stay, and I were to try it again after lunch, yes I would send it. 

But not in the span of an hour.

Well not yet atleast.

So thats the drama .

But I learned my lesson where I can, and the hormone parts, there's nothing I can do about my emotional outburst.

Lets hope it will be milder next time.

But this time I appreciate Acaan's effort belaying me in the hot sun. 

  

 And I cried like a crazy person.