A different life

I guess what put me down the most about this pandemic restrictions and lockdown is the fact that my life has changed in the way that I don't want it to. I know everyone else must've felt the same way.

It's just that, since 5 years ago, well since 2015, climbing has been a tremendous aspect in my life, I built my life around it, my life partner, my job, the house I'm buying, all revolves around climbing, to accommodate my climbing. And pursuing it, getting better at it has become my niche, my thing, it made my life has purpose, and goals.

Without it, I'm just a grown adult with no dreams, no goals, nothing to pursue. 

It has become an identity, and without climbing, I feel like my identity has been stripped down to the core and I'm just left with this basic setting, 

I'm just an ordinary 30 something with no achievement, no fancy career , no fancy nothing. 

It scares me.

Felt like I have nothing to be proud of, 

But then I need to constantly remind myself that this (climbing) is the life I want, 

because I don't have the need to be super rich or have fancy house or anything

I'm content with a career that I can live on, a roof over my head, and extra for helping those in need. 

I just want to climb.

Sounds silly, but, its more than just climbing,

I want to climb, to project some rocks, to be stronger, to get better health, better life than just working 9-5.

I want to advocate sports and healthy lifestyle to others, getting better nutrition, better eating habits.

I want to encourage kids to climb things, be active, to get outside more, to help underprivileged kids in the process, 

I want to encourage adults, or older people that they can still be active, that their youth is not just in their younger years, that they still can start anything at any point in their life, men and women both.

I wanna see the sports community in Malaysia consists of people of all ages, not only people below 30.

I wanna see people over 40 became more active. So that the whole family could share the same interest in sports, in outdoor activities. So family activities would not just involved makan-makan but could be a whole lot of other adventurous activities, so families can bond more.

I wanna grow old with the climbing community, travel around the world, see different rocks, learn different histories, meet climbing community from around the world, I wanna speak the language they speak in, I want to connect.

It's not just climbing, its the life I want to live in.

and now, 

I'm not a climber.

That's what hurts the most.

Some people say to me, there's more to life than climbing, 

Maybe,

But,

There's also more to life than working 9-5, 5 to 6 days a week for 30 years, 

There's more to life than working your ass off day in and day out to earn more money, or to be absurdly rich. 

Money will never be enough.