#mcodiary Day22 Romantic drama: Porn for girls?

So few days ago I've ran out of things to do and decided to revisit my Mandarin notebook. I got bored with the same vocab and grammar notes so I decided to look for a Mandarin movie on Netflix to watch. The first one that appears is this TV series called Put Your Head on my Shoulder. I read the synopsis and the storyline is simple enough for me just to listen to basic everyday conversation and sentences.

I don't normally watch these Asian love story dramas. I caught on early that all these dramas won't ever happened in reality and they just make you fantasize and daydreaming of this perfect love life that doesn't  even make any sense in real life.

So basically this series just reminded me of that. It has similar ingredients to all the romcom chickflick Asian dramas.


So why do I call it a Girl Porn?

We've established that men like sex, and women like all these emotion stuffs like attention, affection, protection, emotional connection what have yous.

So what are the ingredient in this particular drama that makes it porn for girls?

1.Tall lanky man child that honest to God looked like a 9 year old boy that has been stretched up vertically.

Look at that.

9 YEAR OLD BOY.

Fight me.

2. A spunky, innocent, petite, doe-eyed girl who's clumsy and long for a knight in shining armor to protect her 24hrs a day.

(Feminist must have a thing or two to say about this for sure)

3. The ridiculous height difference.

Well girls like tall guys in general cos well they like the feeling of someone towering over them. Something to do with wanted to be protected, even if the guy is not that tall, as long as he's bigger than her, its the same concept. Girls just like being small and tiny and protected.

And then, if he's tall, he could easily pick the girl up. 

This goes back to the affection part. Girl like to be babied, many scene in the series where the boy pick the girl up to her room while she fell asleep on her sofas. Jeez, sorry to burst your bubble but trust me, nobody gonna do that on daily basis girls.

And then when she was forced to get drunk on an office dinner, the boy came to her rescue and pick her up all the way home.

And the most fantasy inducing scene, when the girl is saying the boy is like her little brother so the boy is annoyed and went on and pick her up, bring her to the bedroom and throw her on the bed implying that he 'could' do stuff to her that her little brother can't. huh, huh, girl porn right there. rawr.

4. Forced to live in the same house/moms matchmaking agenda.

Well nothing is more romantic than being forced to stay in the same house with a good looking guy huh.

If this were a Malay drama, it'll go somewhere along the line of arranged marriaged/forced marriage, like, 

'Papa nak kamu kahwin dengan anak Tan Sri xxx supaya kita boleh gabung kan shahrikat kita bleh bleh bleh'. 

Like, what are the chances that those things happened in real life?

Zero.

I remember a movie with Lisa Surihani and Farid Kamil using this concept.  I believe there are gazzilion more out there, playing on prime time TV. hurm.

But that's the similarity between Asian countries, couple staying together is still a taboo thing, but if you don't stay together then where would all the romantic scene is going to happened? Not in a library for sure. So to make it okay, they make the two couple forcefully married and stayed in the same house. 

At first they will hate each others guts and then when they constantly 'forced' to be in close proximity to each other, romantic stuffs happened and now they likey likey each other, and then happily ever after.

So in this series, they are forced to stay in the same house by their moms for some reason. 

So same concept. Same recipe. 

The westerners will never get this. 

Ohh, maybe not, remember The Proposal? where Sandra Bullock is about to be deported so he blackmailed Ryan Reynolds to marry her, so when they go to Ryan Reynolds family house they pretend to be a loving couple and forced to stay in the same room? yeaaaaa same concept detected. Girl porn is global, not an Asian thing apparently. 

Girls dig this stuffs kid you not. 

I should know I'm a girl.

5. Attention to detail.

In every one of these movies, the guy will pay attention to every excruciatingly little detail about the girls, what she like to eat, her favorite food, her favorite song, any mole or warts on her body, how her nose twitches, everything.

While men in real life struggle to remember anniversary dates.

Heh.

6. Accept her or what she is.

The girl in these story is almost always clumsy, careless, hopeless, messy sometimes, snore while they sleep so it would be relatable to most girls out there. In this series, the girls likes to eat River Snail Rice Noodles which is smelly but he still make the dish for her everytime. You'll watch the series and you'll be like hey, I'm like that girl, I hope I'll find my Gu Wei Yi. *daydreams*

7. Girl-centric making out scene.

If you watch the make out scene, guy will feel bored but girls will totally dig it. Super soft kiss on the lips, no tongue, (mostly a kiss on the cheek). Sleeping on the sofa together or in bed without having sex.(Girls love to cuddle right?) Even the sex scene is innocent. Not sloppy, rushed, full of lust sex scene we normally seen in western movies.

8. And the main ingredient is: THE BUILD UP.

So what's The Build Up? The main selling point in all the love story is not the relationship between a couple, but the build up of the relationship itself. Means, the attraction part, the process where they get to know each other, fall in love, the guy trying to get the girl or vise versa and the other party plays hard to get. The moments before they say I love you, or get married. 

For example the series have friggin 24 episodes. The first kiss happened on episode 10, but that was when the boy is drunk, they kinda try to prolong the 'real' kiss. And then the boy finally admits that he had feelings or the girl in episode 15. Their real first kiss is in episode 17. 

The new relationship goes on until they finally had sex on episode 22 and they got married on episode 24. 

Why having sex and got married at the very end of the series? (this might differ from Western movies)

Because there's no mystery anymore after sex and marriage. (how ironic)

The whole 22 episodes are about the build up, the touchings, the intimacy, the many many scene where they almost kissed, or the first kiss itself. Once they had sex then there's no more first anything. The build up is what makes audience jitters. They don't make stories of a happily married couple because there's no more build up there. They building already done, so to speak. So no more jitters

We rarely seen this in western movies but if you remember in How I Met Your Mother, there's an episode where Victoria tell Ted that the build up leading to the kiss is as good as the kiss itself. Same concept.

All these criteria are what I meant by a 'girl porn'. It has everything that makes a girl swoon and intoxicated. 

Totally doesn't happened in real life, but we wish they does. So why shove some unrealistic ideas in your head when you know its fiction. And as it does to porn, these movies are addictive. Its does no good other than messing up your real life expectation. 

So yeah, I get why girls like these stories and Kdrama/Jdrama and or subsequently why they love male Kpop bands in general.    

Girls like soft sensitive guys, if they cant decide if they are actually sensitive, just go for the looks, I don't know maybe in their mind guys who looks feminine are probably sensitive as well. I guess.

Just my wild speculation.

I'm not saying these stories are wrong, yes its only serves as an entertainment, but nothing in excessive is good right? In Malaysia particularly, I wish there's not much of these type of story being aired during prime time. Because I know there's too many of them. Like the producers dont have any other story line to sell. Kinda reflects on the mentality of the film makers and the audience in general.

But yeah its just my two cents.

At the end of the day its up to us to decide whats best right?

Tying the knot

If you knew me, I'm one of those who getting married is the last thing on her to-do-list.

But I'm a fan of early marriage too, IF and only IF, you already have someone you trust to spend your whole life with. I did write a lengthy post on that years ago.

If you already found the one early, then by all means, get married. But if you are single, there's nothing wrong with it, just enjoy life and be happy. Love will find its way. 

Don't force something that might not meant to happen yet.

In my case, I kinda already prepared to live alone till I'm old. I have arranged the next 3 years plan of what I wanna do. Alone. 

I started travelling on my own. 

My first solo trip was to Sabah, just to get a taste of what it's like to travel on my own, then when I get the hang of it, I went further to Koh Lipe. Then a little more further to the beautiful Palawan,
Then I pluck up all my courage to go beyond the continent and hence my trip to Turkey and Greece.

I came home with the biggest satisfaction I have so far. Some kind of fulfillment, or accomplishment. Couldn't really say.

Just a huge amount of endorphin release.

And then after few days, I got strucked with one question.

What's next?

I'm in the midst of planning my next best thing, coming up with plan, scratching it up, come up with other plans, and got stuck.

Then,  out of nowhere, this guy came to me. (Or came back to me)

He was a classmate from Form1(1999) till brief period of Form4 before I moved to Penang.

We used to went out together somewhere 7 years ago. But it ended up badly after some time. I did write it here somewhere too.

I did ask God,
Why him? of all people in the world?

The cocky, a tad bit egoist, famous sportsman who doesn't even glance at me in school. Might even mock or sneer at me at some point. I hated most of my classmates (if not all) at the time and I was trying my best to forget or at least repress all the bad memories i have  from that period of time.

So why did God send me this almost perfect guy, but he came from a period of my life that I'm trying to leave far behind?
what kind of game is this?

But then I realize, God always have reasons.
This guy cared for me.
The only person in the world who cared for me the way I always wanted to be cared.
He is not the boy I knew 17 years ago.
He is now a totally different man. He's a version 2.0 of himself.

He scolds me like a dad, asked me to pray like a dad and warn my spending like a dad.

He caress my head like a mom did to their kids, peeled my shrimp for me like a mom did for their kids, calms me when I'm down like a mom did to their kids 

He is chivalrous like a brother, protective like a brother, humorous like a brother.
He listen to me like a sister, give fashion advise like a sister and cry with me like a sister.

What else a girl who always feel uncared could've asked for?

So I marry the guy, and like every other couples, wishing this relationship will last beyond our lives.
Wishing this relationship will bring us closer to God.

I'm not the kind of person who displays affection in social media. I'm concerned of what others might think or say, or some might get offended, or some might think its inappropriate, Yes I'm overthinking, I can't help it it's wired in my brain T_T. I even complain to him if he did, (cos he loves to post stuffs on Facebook)
But I figured, once in a while I should, show or tell, how I feel , not for others to see, but for him to know, that I actually more than appreciate, grateful even, for all the things he has done for me all this years, for coming back to me, and for just, merely existing.

Alhamdulillah.

That's all I can say.

Why do people crave for attention?

I used to read somewhere that people who want to be an actress/singer are actually people who lacks attention and who really needs attention. That's why they are drawn to these kind of career, to have fans adore and admire them.

I don't know if this true.

Because it may not be attention they seek, but also recognition, or approval or desire to express themselves in a way that some others may not be able to do. Like singing or any other special talents.

Maybe its the uniqueness, the exclusivity, the feeling of being special or different than others.

In one of Lady Gaga's song, she specifically mentioned 

"I live for the applause, applause..

...live for the way that you cheer and scream for me..the applause, applause..."

So it comes back to attention.

That also explains why when there's a singing competition or audition in town, people would queue for hours and hours for the chance of fame.

Then again, it probably because of the easy money.

So why do other people also craves for attention?

I went to a Mandarin class few years ago, when the teacher, who really is not very good at teaching (well at least that was my first impression on him on the first class) literally ask us students to give him an applause at the end of the class because he said it will boost his confidence.

Yes, but why do he need to asked for it?

If he did a great job people will applause, or the least, thank him.

I'm one of the people who will try hard to recognize people's good effort but he was just average at teaching, he was nervous and stray out of topic a couple of times also not a lot of things he shared during that class, so I decided not to continue the course.

Anyway my point is, either its Lady Gaga or that mandarin teacher, everybody needs attention whether you want to admit it or not.

At first I thought its only people with troubled family, or someone who doesn't get enough attention during their childhood that needs attention from other people the most in order to compensate that said lacks of attention they receive in their early life. But I found out that that's not always the case.

Because if by that logic, all thousands of people who lined up for hours outside the audition room must be all from a troubled family/childhood. Of course they are not, right?

There are people who have supportive and caring parents but still looking attention from a lot of different people. So maybe attention from parents and family are different from attention given by friends or love interest or fans and admirers.

And then now is the social media era where everybody have their own platform to express themselves and get attention from other people.

Come on, we post statuses on Facebook to get attention, we tweet, we post videos on Youtube, we Instagrammed everything we eat and do, and places we go, doesn't part of it (if not 100%) is to get some responses from other people?  

The problem now is, everybody wants attention but nobody wants to give attention.

It's a surplus problem all over again. Demand is more than supply.

So why do we need attention? Which part of our brain that produce this hormones or something that make us need attention from other people?

Because expecting attention from other people is not good. expecting is not good because it leads to frustration.

But to not expecting attention is impossible because its in our nature to seek recognition and to be noticed. (God I hoped not)

Now I wish I had learned psychology.

But since I'm not and I don't know how to switch off this needs of attention, maybe what we can do is to give attention in order to received it back.

Maybe small act can make a difference, like trying to listen to your friend stories rather than make them listen to yours all the time. 

Say thanks and smile to the toll gate person, or your waiter or even the cleaner in your office.

Praise the chef or your mom if they cook you a delicious meal.

The list goes on.

But the most important is giving attention to your family and friends.

Yet most people remain ignorant and sometimes egoistic to show attention to their loved ones.

I can't seem to find a conclusion for this post. And the touchpad's not working. probably a sign to go to sleep. 

So I'll just stop for now.

The Untold Lipe story + all the fuss about dogs

Find Waldo. I mean, that brown dog that curled up beside the chair.

In my last post about Koh Lipe adventure, I've mentioned about not being able to explore the island by foot during my visit to Koh Lipe because I'm afraid of dogs.

Since currently there's this hoo haa about the 'Touch A Dog Campaign' or whatever, I think its a good time for me to write my story here.

Just to clarify, I was never afraid of anything. Not dogs, not heights, not clown, not rats, not snake or dark or anything. I do hate cockroaches at some point but that's not fear, that's icky yucky feeling.
So I'm basically fearless. Heh.

So when I step my foot on the island, I'm full of hope, I went straight to the Walking Street with my Singaporean buddy, Eugene to walk around since 4 other Malaysian I met there already went their way to Pattaya Beach. We plan to go to Walking Street first before heading to the beach and discover the beautiful Lipe Island that I've been reading and dreaming about for the past 3 months.

At the Walking Street, I noticed there's a lot of dog wondering about. They're not stray dogs, they're all someone's dog by the look of them, they're clean, the each have collar on their neck, and also almost each of the shops there, have a dog sleeping on the doormat or sit beside the entrance acting like a guardian. (Well some might be stray dogs, they can't all have owners right?)
The rest of the dog are just walking around trying to blend in with humans. And they are all big. Very big.

Being a Malay Malaysian, I have never been in that situation before, The Malay community or the area that Malays live rarely have more than 2 or 3 dogs around. There, the amount of the dogs, and how close they are with me. I mean, public places in Malaysia doesn't have that many dogs, if there's such a place, like the road heading to my previous office in Jalan Bukit Kemuning, do have a lot of dogs, but I was driving in my car the whole time. I was never walking in that area.
So dogs were never an issue for me.

But in Lipe Island, in the Walking street particularly, there's a lot of them. A LOT.
They walk among all the people, its like they are 1/10 of the population in Lipe. At the time, being in the scenario for the first time, I became cautious. What if they bump into me? Or what if they brush my legs like cats do? What if they suddenly lick my leg? Or bite me?
The amount of them plus the many thoughts slowly overwhelmed me. And as soon as I spotted the next dog, I stopped walking unconsciously.

And once I stopped, the dog sensed.
I try to walk away from it, and this action, attracts the dog even more.
Eugene automatically distract the dog and I walk straight ahead, and the caution, became fear.
And the slight hint of that fear, attract another dog and soon 2 were following me. 3 considering the one distracted by Eugene, at the time I literally stopped and was just about to burst into tears when they started barking at me. I know I cannot run because they will chase me and I wont be able to outrun them so I just stood still.

I tried to calm myself as much as I can, and then Eugene distract the dog to go the other way and ask me to slowly walk in the opposite direction.
I did.

After a while Eugene catch me up and suggested we go to the beach, and get out from the Walking Street for a while. We think there might be less dogs on the beach, plus we need to go to the island tour booking counter to book our trip for tomorrow.

So being around other people in the booking counter (was actually a resort cafe) calms me down a bit. Though they're also dogs there but most are sleeping or resting by their owner.
We talk for a while with the tour guide and after I feel calm, we decided to start walking by the beach to round the island. We could probably make it to the Sunset Beach in time for the sunsets and meet the Malaysians there.

Eugene chatted me up and I notice he ask random questions which I think he purposely did to distract my mind from thinking about dogs. I appreciate his effort, but it's not working. Within a few steps I noticed two dogs on the beach like 100 meters away from me. Far. So I slowed down my pace and walk into the water while continue answering all Eugene's random unrelated questions.

I know dog can swim but I thought the dog might think its too much of a hassle to get wet just to chase some freaked out girl.

And sure enough, it did. It's uncanny T__T
From 100meters away, one of the dog slowly walk into the water towards me,
Fuck.

I slowly go back towards the shore and Eugene towards the dog.
The dog start barking when it sees Eugene is trying to block him.
At the time, I saw one of the locals who sit under a bamboo hut gestured at me to go towards the island. And I don't know when the dog slip from Eugene's block, it literally run towards me and pounced at me, I was ready to be clawed. Just don't bite me, please.=(

But to my surprise, it didn't even touch me. It just pounce and barked. Then Eugene get to the dog and I walk slowly towards the island. Trembling.
This is so not me, I never scared of anything. Eugene asked if I used to be attacked by a dog during my childhood that might traumatized me. I think hard but no. I've always been a brave kid. I'm not afraid of anything.

So the beach walk, the sunset plan fell through. We just walk towards the Walking street and meet the Malaysians there, they planned to get something for dinner and all I wanted to do is go to my room. Eugene told the rest of the group my story and they suggested I walk inside of them. There are 4 or them, Loon and another guy in front, Ruby and Tong next, me and then Eugene at the back. walk around me like a bunch of guards.

They walked me until we reach in front my hotel gate.
Yes thankfully it has a gate.

So in my room, I lay down and just rest.
Then I start googling about the condition of my religion related to dogs.
Actually at the back of my head I know that if the dog is dry, an my hand is dry, it should be ok for me to pet them.
I whatsapped my brother for clarification, and he answers the same thing,
'If you and the dog both dry, its like petting a cat.' He says.

I know, only if your hand is wet or the dog is wet, or you are in contact with its saliva that you have to perform ablution. It's not that hard anyway. 7 times washing the affected part of your body. 1 time with soil water +other 6 with pure water.

But the way Malays in Malaysia been raised, is to avoid dogs at all cost so that they don't have to perform this 'tedious' ablution. You know, prevention is better than cure sort of thing.

But this avoidance, somehow turns to hatred. There are people who throw rocks at them or worse run them over with their car.

Dogs are also Gods' creation. He didn't create something to be hated. Or to be harmed.

So avoid them if you may, but don't run or be scared because they will sense it. Just act normal.
Dogs are always slobbering, so if they come too near to you, and you don't want them to slobber all over you feet, just push them gently using your hand. Don't kick them away.

Back to the story, I don't really sleep that night. Probably around 3am that I dozed off.
The next morning I met the rest at the booking booth and told them I'm already OK with dogs when they tried to push one away from me.
That one proceeded to come and crawl near my feet (where we all standing actually) cleaning itself and not bothering me at all.

Then I started to noticed that these dogs just love to be among people.
I see a group of Americans opposite our booth, standing in a circle, chatting, probably discussing which trip to choose. And this one huge dog just came slowly out of nowhere and join the circle like he's part of the conversation. Turning his head left and right to whomever that speaks, pretending he understand what those people are saying.
At the time I can smile. And all my fears are gone.

This dog that crawled beside my leg also just probably want to be a part of our group, crowding that booth.

During the night, I decided to walk around the Walking Street by myself. Huge improvement hah.
Not even one dog bothers me, I managed to buy few fridge magnets and some other stuffs, walking back and forth the Walking Street, step in every gift shop I found. Dogs are all there walking, sniffing around, minding their own business, but not one bothers me.

The next morning, I rush up to catch the sunrise. no dogs to be found along the beach. Probably still sleeping. I managed to enjoy the moment peacefully, then I headed back to my room.
On the way I saw one big dog come towards me, probably because nobody else is around and he's hungry so I just tell him that I've got no food. Heh. Like he understands.
He's getting too close so I patted him on the head. To avoid him from brushing me or lick my hand.
Then suddenly this one poodle puppy, probably excited to see me patting the older dog's head, jumping around for no reason around me.
I got cautious again, I know older dogs wont pounced for no reason, but puppies do.
And I assumed puppies are like kittens (and sometimes human toddlers) who bites people for no apparent reason.
They're damn cute, babies,kittens,puppies (did I mentioned its a poodle? with its fluffy white fur?)
but they are damn annoying and unpredictable.
So while I'm okay with the older dogs now, I'm wondering what to do with this overexcited puppy.

Like sensing whats in my mind, the older dog (which obviously not the poodle's mom or dad, because he's big and dark and brown) pushed away the puppy and bit it on the neck like mother cats do on their kittens.
This calms the puppy down, then he came to me again the older dog, and the puppy jumped towards me again and the dog pushed it away and bit it again, at the end they both just follow me walk through the street till the older dog went away and the puppy got excited on some other thing.

It's almost 7am and I went to my room to pack my stuffs to catch the 9am boat that will depart to mainland.

My point is, don't treat those dogs like an enemy or a dangerous aliens.
I'm also not asking you to pick and carry them like a baby whenever you see one.

Just act normal, treat them as another one of God's creation.
You can touch them to push them away gently if they come too near, or pat them as a gesture that you're not afraid of them.
They won't bother you if you do so.

Its the same with cats. I see a lot of people who scared of cats, and all the cats around will crowd this one particular person like there's no tomorrow. Its just some animal instinct we can't explain.

So that's the story of why I can't enjoy Koh Lipe as much as I would like to.
By the time I overcome my unnecessary fear, its already time to say goodbye.

Oh, about the campaign.
As much as I wish parents don't teach their kids to fear or hate dogs, I won't encourage kids to touch them for fun either. Or in this case, these so called awareness campaign.

Its sufficient to just spread the word that dogs are not to be hated or avoided or harmed, and you can pat or touch it IF necessary.
But its another thing to just purposely touch it for no reason and then samak just for fun and called it a campaign to raise awareness.

There's a lot of ways to create awareness, by knowledge, by reading, by telling. Change the mindset, yes. But its not necessary to  gather a huge crowd and do it physically.

I mean, we didn't create awareness for drug abuse by asking people to take drugs for 2 hours and then flush it down the toilet after that, right?

There's a fine line between everything actually. Whether or not we care to notice.

But I apologize if I offended anybody with this post, or anything I said here is wrong, do correct me. I'm not perfect.

P/S : The puppy that finally accompany Eugene watch the sunset while I was in my room googling  how to deal with overexcited dogs.:D

To all the single ladies out there

Before you read this post, bear in mind that I actually encourage early marriage.
But this post is intended to single 25 years over girls that are looking to get married but still haven't and couldn't find the right guy.

The problem at hand

Why do you want to get married?
    A. Because everybody my age have got married. Some of them even have few kids already.
    B. Because I don't want him to fall for other girl.
    C. I don't want to be single and alone for the rest of my life.
    D. It's Sunnah

Here are the answer or should I say, an excuse some people give as why they want to get married so bad.

Let me explain why.

Reason A - Because everybody else does. 

This is a society pressure that someone at certain age have to get married, if not he/she is a loser.
Normally it's older people who have these kind of thinking, parents, grandparents, relatives and all of that sort.
Marriage is not and achievement. Something you have to do so that people think you are successful or something. It is not.

Most people mindset is that after you obtain your education, you get a job, you buy a car, you get married, have a children, then you should buy a house, bigger car etc etc.
If people didn't live their life according to these order, then they're a loser. They're not successful.
No. Life is like people said, is a canvas. Nobody asked you to paint a tree only, or a cat, or a bowl  of fruit. You can paint whatever the hell you want.
It's your life, you are free to live it your way.

You don't get married because you see all of your friends got married. Sometimes girls they love to see all these beautiful wedding decorations and they started dreaming of their dream wedding and sometimes with the intention of 'my wedding will kick her wedding's ass.'

What do you want is actually a wedding, not a marriage. Please understand that you only get your wedding that one night. But you get your married life for the rest of your life. So if you really want to rub on other people's face about something, make it about your marriage. Not your wedding.

But truly, marriage is NOT a competition.

You get married when you are ready. Not to win some competition.

Marriage doesn't mean you excel in life where single people doesn't.

Marriage doesn't mean happiness. Not all married people are happy 24/7. They have ups and down same as single people. So its basically no difference whether married or single in terms of life quality. It's all up to individual/couple to make their life better.

Reason B - Because I don't want him to fall for other girl.

You don't force a guy to marry you if he's not ready. If he's ready he WILL marry you and be prepared for all the future responsibility. If he's the type who easily fall for other person, then what makes you think marrying you would stop that? He will fall for other person even if you guys're married. So don't make this a reason.

Reason C - I don't want to be single for the rest of my life.

I know being single can be sucks sometimes, because you'll get lonely at times and you have nobody to share same experience and do activities you like with or maybe a shoulder to cry on or just somebody to tell your daily stories to. But bear in mind, there are couples who complaint their bf/husband doesn't listens, doesn't share same interest or even make effort to share their life story with you.

My point is, yes it's lonely at times but sometimes married people do feel lonely too.

You can be happy on your own, you can be happy with a partner, you can also be sad in both situation. Its not definite that if you are unhappy on your own then you will never find a partner. No, because all type of people can meet someone who attracted to their other traits.

I think the point here is that, you have to learn to live on your own first. You cannot expect to get married so that other people can take care of you. Don't be a dependent person. Yes there are certain things we do need help from other people, but there are a lot of things you can handle and solve by your own. Because you are looking for a life partner, not a caretaker.

But you also don't have to be too independent until other people take advantage of you. Everything should be in moderation.

Answer D - It's Sunnah

This is always an excuse by university students in the middle east or any student with religious background who preach but don't really understand what he's preaching.
Yes in Islam, getting married is our Prophet's Sunnah, the pahala/reward is like you build a mosque.
But you have to think back, marriage comes with responsibilities.
If you cannot cater for all the marriage needs, you are not ready to be a wife, a mother and make all the sacrifices you have to make when you get married then it will be a sin all the same.

Mostly the issue is when young people/student get married they didn't have any plans. Problem happens when the girl gets pregnant, then she can't go to class, always sick, have to take frequent leave and it effect their studies.
When the baby is born, now the husband too cannot go to class, now they have to think about money, have to work part time and resort to ask support from parents back home. Imagine the parents already have to support their education and also other siblings education, now they have to support their grandchild too. Haven't we burden our parents enough?

But it's good when the couples know how to plan their married life.
They can go to class together, study together, and excel together and have a kid when they are financially stable and ready to be a parents.

A good reason to get married:
    A. Menghalalkan yang haram.
    B. Because I'm ready.

Answer A - Menghalalkan yang haram.(To permit was is forbidden.)

This is actually why Islam encourage people to get married at young age.
Because after we hit puberty, we will have urges, so to avoid social problems that leads to teenage pregnancies, or rape or to avoid fitnah(slander), parents will find a capable guy and arrange their daughters to marry once they get their period so that he can take care of her. Some even before they get their period. Of course they will not live together until they hit puberty but this is the practice of Muslims at the old times.

Honestly, I like this idea. Not getting married once you get your period, but getting married at young age. In terms of menghalalkan yang haram. The whole thing I said about getting married in university.
For me if we really want to practice this, make marriage easy. If a student find someone suitable during university time, let them get married so that they can do everything together without being fitnah. Noneed for the extravagant ceremony and fancy celebration, that can be done at any point of the marriage. Let them continue uni life as the halal 'boyfriend and girlfriend'. Children can be planned after they finish study and get a job and ready.
The point of making a ceremony is to let people know that you are married. Now is the technology era. If it's just to let people know, just make some nice e-card and tag all the people in your Facebook, Twitter and Instagram.
After graduate and get a job, if you can afford it, then its up to you to throw a super fancy wedding reception or the biggest wedding of the year all you like. Whatever you want. Doesn't matter anymore. Because the most important part is done, the haram has been halaled.

But I'm getting out of topic. This post is meant to single mid twenties and above girls who are looking to get married.

So carry on,

Answer B-Because I'm ready.

If you are ready, financially and emotionally and you have someone who you trust to share your life with, no matter if you are 16 years old or 60, then carry on, get married. With good and pure intention, InsyaAllah everything will be ok.

I know at one point everybody have the urges to have children of their own, but only few ever thinks whether they are capable enough to be a good parents. It's not simple you know, it's not just money. You have to raise a human being. Don't be selfish, if you can't be a good parent, you are being unfair to your future child.

Child factor

Being a mother is not only for the first 2 or 3 years of your child's life, its for the rest of your life. Normally from what I see, newlyweds are so excited taking care of their little baby from pregnancy until they were born, then come second child, third child the attention towards the older child became less and life hasn't been as rainbows and butterflies as the early marriage phase. What some people didn't realize, as your children gets older, when physical attention are less needed, the emotional attention have to be increased. Raising children is not a few years job. Its a lifetime job.

I'm getting off topic again this is not a post for parental advice. Back to the topic.
I'm not saying that you shouldn't have children, I'm just saying that you should consider these factors before making decisions.

Greener grass

There are some people who are head over heels in love at young age and think that love is all they need, got married early and then few years later see their still single friends enjoying single life, going places, experience great things while she's at home taking care of kids and started wondering the what ifs and whether or not she made a right decision by getting married too early.

That single friend with money who have all the fun in the world might not be as happy as she thought, while the married people with kids envying all the time and fun the single people can have without having to listen to kids screaming every now and then.

You know, grass is always greener on the other side. Don't do this, there will be time when our grass is greener than other people without we even noticing it.

Considering the odds

Looking at another perspective, statistically speaking, its a known fact that there's more female than male in this world, so there are bound to be women that won't meet their partner in this life.

One of my opinion is that, for those of you who believe the hereafter, God have promised us, all humans are made to be paired. Setiap kejadian itu Allah jadikan berpasang-pasangan.
But God did not mentioned it is only on earth, maybe if it's not on this life,dekat dunia ni, you will find your partner in hereafter, dekat akhirat nanti. Because we believe that our life doesn't ends here on earth only, hidup kita bukan dekat dunia je.There's also hereafter.

Plus if you look at accident statistic or death involving boys or teenagers, these boys all have their own partner written on their life, jodoh yang sudah ditetapkan. It was destined for them to go first and leave their partner behind. And they will meet in hereafter. But this is only my opinion. Only God knows.This is all his work. So who are us to questions God's will.

Not your fault

And don't keep on blaming yourself or saying it must be something wrong with you, it's NOT, it's just how things are. I have a lot of single girl friends who are smart, kind-hearted and successful in their career.
It's just life. Also like I said previously, there's already an unbalance ratio of guys and girl in our country. Then you can be 100% sure its hard to get a quality one among whats left. For an example, I have a single guy friend that if we rate him out of 10, of his career/life achievement, attitude/ maturity,family backround, etc, he's basically a 3. 4 if you consider big and tall as a plus point. But he's kind hearted so I tried to set him up with a girl friend of mine, that I rated an 8. But this 3 guy does not interested with the 8 girl. He's not even trying hard enough, I was like what the hell man? You'd be damn lucky to have her. But that's not how these thing work I guess. So if you do get married in the future, good for you but if you don't, then good for you too. Because you don't want to be like "I don't care if he's less than a 4, I just want to get married."
If you value yourself more, don't settle for less.

The culprit

Another thing to stress out, please, pleaseeeee I beg you, DO NOT watch all the sappy romantic malay dramas on TVs, or read all those crappy teenage love novels at the book stores. All of those make you have high unrealistic expectation on what your love life/married life/future boyfriends/husbands should be. Which is never existed. These dramas and novels are what to girls, as porn to guys. It didn't do you any good. Just leave you feeling unsatisfied with your real life.

Conclusion

My point is, you don't need to be with somebody to be happy. At least plant the idea in your mind so that you won't put too much hope on meeting some prince charming which existence you never truly know off.
It's okay to be on your own. And there's sooooo much thing you can do in this world even if you don't have a husband wrapped around your waist.

Appreciate and enjoy your current situation whether single or married, because you never know when its gonna last. If you're married, make the best of your married life, enjoy your husband and children's company, do everything you can to make them and yourself feels happy.
If you are single, enjoy single life, do all the things you wanted to do, be it whether continue studying, climbing Everest, starting your own bakery, travel, live in another country, do charity works, there's so much this world that God have made for us has to offer, how wasteful it is  if the only thing we care about is how to get a husband :(
Seriously, any other thing, do it. Its your own life.

Married people who tease you for not getting married might actually been jealous of your single life because if someone is contently being married, or happy with their own life for that matter, she doesn't have time to care and judge other people's life.

I hope this post will help all the single people to stop looking for a boyfriend/husband and instead enjoy life and focus on your interest hobbies or career. There's a lot of thing in this world that can give you happiness beyond your expectation. You just have to look for it. This is your life. You are in charge of it. You define your own happiness. Not others.

Good things will come to you when you less expected.
InsyaAllah.