Thursday, November 20, 2014

Why do people crave for attention?

I used to read somewhere that people who want to be an actress/singer are actually people who lacks attention and who really needs attention. That's why they are drawn to these kind of career, to have fans adore and admire them.

I don't know if this true.
Because it may not be attention they seek, but also recognition, or approval or desire to express themselves in a way that some others may not be able to do. Like singing or any other special talents.

Maybe its the uniqueness, the exclusivity, the feeling of being special or different than others.

In one of Lady Gaga's song, she specifically mentioned 
"I live for the applause, applause..
...live for the way that you cheer and scream for me..the applause, applause..."

So it comes back to attention.

That also explains why when there's a singing competition or audition in town, people would queue for hours and hours for the chance of fame.

Then again, it probably because of the easy money.

So why do other people also craves for attention?

I went to a Mandarin class few years ago, when the teacher, who really is not very good at teaching (well at least that was my first impression on him on the first class) literally ask us students to give him an applause at the end of the class because he said it will boost his confidence.
Yes, but why do he need to asked for it?
If he did a great job people will applause, or the least, thank him.
I'm one of the people who will try hard to recognize people's good effort but he was just average at teaching, he was nervous and stray out of topic a couple of times also not a lot of things he shared during that class, so I decided not to continue the course.

Anyway my point is, either its Lady Gaga or that mandarin teacher, everybody needs attention whether you want to admit it or not.

At first I thought its only people with troubled family, or someone who doesn't get enough attention during their childhood that needs attention from other people the most in order to compensate that said lacks of attention they receive in their early life. But I found out that that's not always the case.
Because if by that logic, all thousands of people who lined up for hours outside the audition room must be all from a troubled family/childhood. Of course they are not, right?

There are people who have supportive and caring parents but still looking attention from a lot of different people. So maybe attention from parents and family are different from attention given by friends or love interest or fans and admirers.

And then now is the social media era where everybody have their own platform to express themselves and get attention from other people.

Come on, we post statuses on Facebook to get attention, we tweet, we post videos on Youtube, we Instagrammed everything we eat and do, and places we go, doesn't part of it (if not 100%) is to get some responses from other people?  

The problem now is, everybody wants attention but nobody wants to give attention.
It's a surplus problem all over again. Demand is more than supply.

So why do we need attention? Which part of our brain that produce this hormones or something that make us need attention from other people?
Because expecting attention from other people is not good. expecting is not good because it leads to frustration.

But to not expecting attention is impossible because its in our nature to seek recognition and to be noticed. (God I hoped not)

Now I wish I had learned psychology.
But since I'm not and I don't know how to switch off this needs of attention, maybe what we can do is to give attention in order to received it back.
Maybe small act can make a difference, like trying to listen to your friend stories rather than make them listen to yours all the time. 
Say thanks and smile to the toll gate person, or your waiter or even the cleaner in your office.
Praise the chef or your mom if they cook you a delicious meal.
The list goes on.

But the most important is giving attention to your family and friends.
Yet most people remain ignorant and sometimes egoistic to show attention to their loved ones.

I can't seem to find a conclusion for this post. And the touchpad's not working. probably a sign to go to sleep. 
So I'll just stop for now.



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