37!

 OK to be honest, this is the year that I'm finally admitting that I'm growing old. No more denying.

Firstly because this year 100% ppl will call me kak already, and the lowest age I can tell people without they second guessing is 29.

I mean my Enercon US boss did thought I was 26 (when I said 36) but then again he's American.

And Opah Anjang did ask if I'm still in school(uni) but she's almost 90 and in poor health. (God bless her.)

So both doesn't count.   

And then there's the grey hair. 

The amount of grey hair I see this year is alarming. Chaoi literally have to sit for 20mins to pluck those obvious ones protruding on the top of my head. Not accounting those at the side of my forhead.

And then there's climbing, While strength wise I thought getting better, fitness wise, I can silently admit I'm getting breathless when I do endurance.

I used to refused to admit that I cant climb better bcos I'm old cos obviously I climb better than most ppl in their 20s.

Also I cant say that cos I literally started climbing at 29. Actively training at 33. 

Unless I have been climbing since Im 16, I'm not gonna say I'm too old for this shit.

BUT, 

this year, I think I can say that, (though I still will not) because I have been climbing hard for 4-5 years now. There is some if not a lot of differences I can feel in my fitness level. 

But I'm still hopeful. and I wanna see how far I can go still.

If those Korean aunties can still climb 7c at 40-50yrs why cant I?

So HB to me!

MUSE Will of The People World Tour 2023!!!!

 

My first Obstacle Course Race - O-Zone Games 2023

 just put the title in here first story later.

Vietnam Trip 2023 - Photo Dump

Was feeling down, monthly dopamine dip biasalahkan, 😒

When I read my last post rasa grateful pulak, tula manusia senang sangat lupa benda2 best, benda2 xbest je yg nk difocuskan. Anywho, dumping my recent Vietnam trip photos here as part of my gratitude towards life. Random gila trip last minute. But Alhamdulillah.

Also, who knows Chaoi is actually a great photographer!😍

Birthday again

 .36.🎉

Alhamdulillah.

Had my usual birthday pesto dinner with Chaoi.

Feeling-wise, not sad, not super stoked either.

But grateful.

Alhamdulillah.

August

I started working again on the 9th.

I know didn't plan to actually. But when I got a call asking if I'm interested to interview for a similar job I had before, but working remotely, I'm intrigued. So I went for the interview and got the job.

The initial plan is never to work 9-5 again, buy a car, get Grab license, see how it goes first whether the income can cover my commitment. If its okay, I don't have to go for the new job, but if its not okay, I'll take the job. But somehow I'm not lucky enough to have a smooth process, so I settled the Grab thing late. Only get the greenlight to drive the same day my new job supposed to start. Sigh.

So I carry on with the new job and see how it goes first. I could use the money, I have not been working since April. 

Climbing wise, I sent the marble green 6C+ on the 14th. I'm so happy. So this complete my so called checklist to do Osmosis again, but I still don't feel like it yet. 

There's something about my roof/overhang climb that I felt not quite it yet.

It felt like I'm just memorizing the moves and go as fast as I can and hoping I'm lucky enough not to slip or fell. 

It just doesn't feel deliberate.

So no, not feeling Osmosis yet.

Maybe I will focus on the lead comp first, then think about projecting outdoors again.

And while I was excited about lead come, BotB Utro starts on 21st Aug, and it will last 6 weeks, ends just right before the lead comp.

Urghhhhhhhhh, why does everything needs to overlap, I was always excited about BoTB since I first joined one in 2020, and then RttB Eco - which was not an actual BotB, and then the actual BotB Eco, where I sprained my ankle in week 4 while I was having a good run.

And now that they do another BotB in Utro pulak which is convenient to me, but it is right before the lead comp, which I was also looking forward to.

Problem is, I normally boulder once a week as part of my routine, but BotB is a projecting comp, and everyone will go as often as they can. Based on previous BotB, I might need up to 3 days to project.

If there's no lead comp, I will just boulder the whole week, but I need to do endurance for the lead comp too.

I felt so overwhelmed whats with new job, Grab, Botb and the lead comp.

HEADACHE.

July

Camp5 has announced that there will be a lead comp this October. Excited to hear it, but to be honest I have been anticipating this comp since the lockdown. All my training has been done with the anticipation of some big comp in 2022 and this might be it. Except its not a National Selection or anything, but it is going to be used to rank climbers all over Malaysia. 

So might need to plan some training for this. Will see how things goes first.

No progress climbing wise, but I kept doing the same weekly routine, but I did got my 5km PB on the 17th. 

I used to have a plan, if I send the blue 6C and the green marble 6C+ AND I got my 5km run PB, then I will start projecting Osmosis again. 

But that was just a plan.

June

After I learned about DOMS, in June I decided to just do weight training once a week on Saturdays so It wont effect my weekday climbs. Now I felt better again, climbed better, my lifts just reached 80kg, my squats 60kg. And my weight increase from 53 to 56kg but I do feel lighter and stronger esp on dynamic moves and more confident in heel hooking. But still I see no difference in my climbing grade. I guess its true these weight trainings are not climbing specific training, but its just for your general health and strength. But I will maintain doing it once a week. Same as yoga for once a week.

Climbing wise, I finally send the Blue overhanging route graded 6C on the 17th. Have been projecting it since before pandemic. At least now I can say my strength DO improve. I thought I'm already at my best shape (climbing wise) before pandemic. But I did not managed to go past the crux on that blue route even after attempting many times. So if I can send it now, I must have improved. I don't know what, but something must have. I'd like to believ that anyway. Celebrate small wins right?

May

I finally started weiight training with a trainer this May. Focusing on deadlifts and squats as suggested by Hooper's Beta. Folowed the reps and sets from there while having the trainer teach me the correct form. I started 2 times a week Tuesdays and Saturdays on top of climbing 5 times a weeks. (Rest on Thursday and Sundays.) Without realizing the aftermath of deadlift. I felt like I’ve been hit by a bus on the next day(Wednesday) 😅 that’s supposed to be my lead endurance day. 

So I climbed really poorly on Wednesdays and some Wed I can’t even start a route and just belayed others the entire day. 

Then I got frustrated for my very low quality climbing sessions, cried 😅, contemplating about the deadlifts again for the whole month and then my friends told me about DOMS. 

So trying to adjust the frequency and the timing again. We'll se how it goes.

April

 Quit my job again. 

To focus on climbing.

Starts doing yoga, for flexibility, mobility, balance, body awareness and what not. Still trying few classes, dont know how many session I have to do per week and what kinda yoga suits me best, There's Hatha, Vinyasa, Bosu etc.

It's also just for my general fitness.

But its puasa month, don't know if I can stick to all those morning yoga sessions.

Lets see how this goes this time.

Sama-Sama Orang Kampung

 I totally TOTALLY believe this was just a case of hormonal haywire.

Like I mentioned in my previous post, Wnjek onsighted this route on Day 7, Berg almost onsighted it but fell on last quickdraw, Acaan tried it with rests but convinced that he can send it the next day. 

So Day 8 me and Pian plan to join Acaan projecting it within that half a day, before we move on to Bukit Jernih crag in the afternoon. 

So Pian flashed it, and then and Acaan sent it like he said he would. So I have some confidence that I can send the route at that same morning, within that same hour. And for some reason I have this huge out-of-no-where made-up responsibility to sent the route at the time. Like the last cherry on top of the cake to bring home after sending my main projects. 

But the route was effing long, compared to Keretapi and Zamboney which were just 18m, this route was probably double that height. It anchors were almost the same line as Mata Timur.

The hard moves were just the first 4 quickdraws, monos and weirdly positioned pockets back to back. Acaan said once I figured that first 4, the rest are just endurance fest, only the anchor is tricky because you need to do a bit of a dynamic moves before getting to the anchor and reminded me when Berg lost his onsight because of that. He told me to utilize all the rest points that the route has.

So, I passed the first 4 qds, and just working my way up. After about half way, after 18m I realized that I haven't been climbing long routes in awhile, and I'm getting nervous. I'm getting nervous if I'm not able to send this routes like all the boys did. 

So I took an effing long time at the rest points to make sure I have enough gas to do the anchor moves.

The noon sun was starting to show and Acaan was starting to get hot down there since I took my time to rest. But I really wanted to send the route.

And then I reached the last quickdraw, my mental was 100% scared at this time, not scared of falling but scared of failing. I REALLY WANTED THIS SEND. I REALLY WANTED THIS FREAKING CHERRY. 

Whoever was on Mata section at the time, Pian, Kev who were about to repel down to the ground. And also Thong Pak and Alex, was shouting allez! and Pian was trying his best to give his beta(while descending to the ground). But I'm too afraid to fail the move that I'm scared to even attempt it. 

Many time I regress back to the resting point to calm my thought and slowed down my breath but my wanting too much really affected me to attempt and when I finally tried, I failed to catch the jug.

Aaaaand like I said, I cried like I did when my kitten died.

Totally can't control it.

Hence I do believe it wasnt me, its the fucking hormones that betrayed me like it always does.

Anyway, I tried it couple of time, and I though atleast I topped it since I cant send it today, it was already noon.

And I topped it.

But I realize, my current fitness level/endurance level is really not enough send that route in just 2 attempts. And my mental expectation was making it worse.

If we were to stay, and I were to try it again after lunch, yes I would send it. 

But not in the span of an hour.

Well not yet atleast.

So thats the drama .

But I learned my lesson where I can, and the hormone parts, there's nothing I can do about my emotional outburst.

Lets hope it will be milder next time.

But this time I appreciate Acaan's effort belaying me in the hot sun. 

  

 And I cried like a crazy person.

K3ret4pi 7a+, Bukit K3t3ri

Some routes have the crux that you know the beta, but you know you can't do it because you're not strong enough or don't have enough endurance for it.

But Keretapi, I really don't know how to do the crux, its not about endurance, definitely not about power, but I do question my finger strength, but in the end its not even that, its just figuring out how to hold the holds the most efficient way, balancing, and trusting your foot.

But the most important part I think for me, is who's down there supporting me.

I've starting to realize that, I don't do well if there's a lot of people down there, watching me and throwing all sorts of beta at me. When I thrive, is when there's ONE person, focusing on me, helping me figure out the beta, figuring out what I might've done wrong, pushing me when I'm on the edge of giving up and praising me when I succeed. 

Since I don't have a specific climbing partner, its hard for me to ask someone to spend a chunk of their time on me working on a project. Especially the one I have problem on, cos they might have their projects too.

But at the time, Berg was there and he's trying his best to help me. 

He was suggesting this and that, whatever he can think of he will shout it out, trying to lay out all the possibilities that I can try. 

Of course not all can be applied up there, but his suggestions made my mind work actively and made me able to see things that I missed before.

And all of the sudden, I thought of holding a hold in a different way, breathe, and carefully execute all the sequence. 

And I finally figure out the crux.

And then when I wanted to come down, he asked me to stay and try the crux move again, and again. After my moves were solid, he asked me to brush all the holds that matters before lowering down. 

I rested for a while, try again, and I send it.

 

I remembered when he helped me specifically on my first project, Nov 61, when I was clueless on what projecting was, and on Chess, when I unnecessarily put too much pressure on myself. And I remember countless of time he helped others as well. He just have that supportive vibe from him, rock climbing wise. Maybe cos he's been climbing for 10 years, and he knows what it takes, what it made you, how it challenges you.

So that's my story on Keretapi, though I would love myself to be independent, I do believe that people need support, specific support, at times, to move forward. 

Really appreciate all the dedicated belayers who spend their time and put an effort to help fellow climbers overcome their struggles.

But for this particular post, Thank you Berg!

Post-Keteri fever

 Arggh so many nice things to talk about my Keteri trip, met my goal but malas nak transfer gambar ke laptop lagi😅

I'm in my resting mode still after I had my ganglion cyst remove right after Keteri, but I don't feel grumpy I didn't get to climb for 2weeks till my stitch got better, I just felt okay. So in short, it was a great trip.

I aim to send Keretapi,7a+ and Zamboney, 7b+. I sent both.

I also sent Jepun, 7a, and almost send Sama-Sama Orang Kampung, 7a, on the last day. 

I wanna talk about Keretapi and Sama-Sama Orang Kampung actually. So that will be a separate post each. haha

Day 1 Saturday, 18 Dec

No climb for me.

When we reached on Saturday, some of them went straight to climb but I did not have energy to climb since I didn't manage to get any sleep the night before, trying to be a good co-driver, even when they stopped at RNR I didn't managed to shut my eye. 

Day 2 Sunday, 19 Dec

Tried Keretapi for the first time.

I straight away jumped to Keretapi on Sunday, with everyone, straight away couldn't do the crux move. Watching Pian and Acan do to figure out the beta.

Day 3 Monday, 20 Dec

Sent Jepun.

Since he's done with Keretapi and Zamboney, Pian wanted to go to Mata section, Kev's project Mata Timur,8b+ is also up there, everyone else wanted to go, so I went along. Najjar was projecting Jepun, so me and Diddy joined in. Moves were bouldery and 2 dynamic moves on the first 2 quickdraws, but very doable. First attempt my hand was sweating profusely, but after lunch, I send it after I get over the dyno parts. Berg says it should be downgraded to 6C right after I send it (darn it) but for me, if you have to place a quickdraws with you, and considering the dynos and the long run up to the anchor it is a (somewhat) soft 7a.

Day 4 Tuesday, 21 Dec

Back on Keretapi, still no luck.

I continue Keretapi again Tuesday, getting restless at this point cos Pian sent it days ago, and Acaan sent it today. And I still couldn't figure out the crux move. Can't do Pian's beta, can't do Acaan's beta, and after I saw Apiz try the crux part, I got a little idea, so I tried again a few times, and I managed to do the crux part, but still quite shaky and the moves are not solid and not really controlled.

So I'm getting stressed. So when Apiz planned to go jalan-jalan the next day I'm somewhat reluctant cos I came here with goals and I've been here almost half the time and I haven't get one of my goals yet.

Before I came, I thought I'm gonna be spending just one or two days on Keretapi and the rest I'll be spending on projecting Zamboney. But now its day 4 and I haven't send Keretapi.

Day 5 Wednesday, 22 Dec

Sent Keretapi.

On Wednesday, everyone else went to Mata, except Berg and JC and Diyan, cos JC and Diyan's projects were down here, after I set up draws on Diyan's project route, Siti, and helped her project it, Berg helped me with Keretapi. I managed to figure out the crux move, rest for about 45 minutes, and on the next attempt I sent Keretapi. Will write more on this on separate post. 

Later that same evening, I tried Zamboney for the first time and call it a day.

Day 6 Thursday, 23 Dec

Sent Zamboney.

I was somewhat positive from sending Keretapi yesterday and was in a good mood to start projecting Zamboney. 

Many people were there at the time, Wanjek just arrived, Najjar came back to settle Zamboney, cos he fell going to the anchor on Day 4 or something and had to go back to KL. Acan was also projecting Zamboney since the day before. I had to work in the morning so I spend most of the morning at nearby restaurant  working, and I missed Najjar and Acaan send the route. 

After lunch and after my job was done, I work on Zamboney again, workout all the hard parts, and after I felt okay, I rest, and then I try it again and I sent it. 

Really glad.

I worked on Keretapi, a 7a+ route for 3 days with countless attempts but send a 7b+ route in a day with 3 attempts, grades ARE subjectives but of course, it depends on the risk on the routes and the climber's style. Zamboney have a couple of monos, continuous hard-but-doable moves the entire route.

Keretapi only have that one freakin hard crux. 

So I felt relieved that I send my goal routes on Day 6.

Day 7 Friday, 24 Dec

Leisure climbs.

The next day I just leisurely follow everyone, Mekwan came from Kedah that day so I accompany her to climb what she wants, I sent Lorenz, a 6A+ route, follow them to Robot Wall, had caving experience along the way, belay others again and after we came down from Robot Wall, had a chance to try Belly Button Window for the first 6 quickdraws and got an awesome sunset shot there.

Day 8 Saturday, 25 Dec

Attempted Sama-sama Orang Kampung.

They plan to go to Bukit Jernih in the afternoon, but in the morning Pian Acan and me plan to project Sama-sama Orang Kampung since Wanjek onsighted it the day before. So I felt that its doable to be sent in half a day.

So Pian flashed it, and Acaan sent it, so for some reason I have this huge out-of-no-where made-up responsibility to sent the route at the time. The route was effing long, the hard moves were just the first 4 quickdraws, monos and crimps again, long story short, I did not send it, I fell going to the anchor. And I cried like a crazy person. That will be a different blog post. heh.

So after lunch we went to Bukit Jernih and the boys tried King of North, a newly bolted 8a route so I just watch the show.

Day 9 Sunday, 26 Dec

Bye Keteri.

They head back to KL, I continue to mend my wounded heart in Langkawi with Chaoi. hahaha

Overall its a great rock trip for me including the crying part. hahaha

Pics will upload later 

Bye 2021

Ended 2021 with a great December and ganglion cyst removal surgery.

Tbh 2021 felt like just January and December, the middle was all blurry and full of nothingness.

But I'm still grateful that I still have my health, have a job and still climbing, despite couple of injuries, and bad experience with people, I did learn some new things.

Hope everyone else is doing/getting better wherever they are.

2022, lets do this. 

when overthinking kicks in

I've been wanting the mco to be over for months, but when its finally over, I felt lost. In terms of climbing, I don't know my direction, I don't know what to train, when to train, what's my goal.

I know my first goal is to send Osmosis first before I start with my lead climbing training again.

But what's with the one hour distance to Batu Caves, my 25 year old Kancil, the weather = the wet crux, but being able to do the crux even when its wet doesn't mean anything if I still can't link it from the bottom. 

My emotion is better though this time around, I'm more patient and positive, as opposed to throwing tantrum and cry everytime I fall pre-mco attempts. I understood that everyone stuck there for a while, Priscilla, Shinyee, Pian, they all spend a while stuck at the crux moves. So I just have to be patient.

And then seeing everyone bouldering in Utro, I haven't been to any Camp5 gyms yet post vaccination even though I'm paying the whole mco. I'm not that enthused to boulder yet since my current goal is Osmosis, but can't help to feel a little left behind in boulder. Can't go to One U either cos weekend is spent for osmosis and weekdays is just too ridiculous to go to One U after office hours.

Really made me rethink my 9-5 job again, but then this job give me money and from the past 1 year experience of not working the whole 2020, even though I had all the time to climb, I dont have partner to climb cos everyone else is working 9-5! and apparently none of the climbing gyms open in the morning!

Raya Eve 2021

Am I dead inside if people are busy thinking about raya and the fact that we can’t go visiting our families but all I can think about is how am I gonna train when all the gyms are closed and how do I train at home and the fact that Osmosis is in my head 24/7 for the past.. I don’t know.. week?

Love? Passion? Obsession?

I never thought I could love something this much. 

I thought about it when I wake up, I thought about it when I eat, when Im in the shower, when Im driving, It’s always in my prayers to God 5times a day, and It was my last thought before I fell asleep at night. 

Its surreal how deep I am into this.

Into climbing.

Dealing with life changes

Tomorrow will be the first day I’ll started working again and I feel a little nervous. I haven’t been working 9-5 for a little over a year now. I’m already comfortable being a tutor all this time and my sole focus is on my climbing. 

I’m going to start a whole new journey in a few hours but my mind still havent transition to job mode yet. I’m still studying the move for Osmosis since yesterday. Im still in climbing mode.

I havent been able to shut or pause the climbing mode, hell, I dont know how to juggle between all these modes. 

I thought I could get excited for this job by going shopping for some office wear today but apparently no clothing store is open during mco.

And Im uncertain of my jobscope since its a new position for me and also with this whole mco thing, even more uncertainties.

I guess Im just gonna have to go with the flow and see what this new path brings me. And then arrange my new climbing and training schedule around it.

May God ease my way on this new journey. Amin.

The unexpected - Stigmata, Nyamuk Wall

Having just sent Chess 4 days ago, I came back to Nyamuk today to work out on my next project, Stigmata.

Stigmata, 7b, 30m, 11bolts + anchor

2 cruxes at the bottom, one right after the first quickdraw a balancing problem, and the second crux is after the 4th draw where u need to hold a series of coin sized crimps and then launch to a huge jug from a 3mm crimp on your left hand and a sidepull crimp on your right.

The rest of the way up is all endurance, similar(albeit a little longer) to Le Futur.

I’ve attempted the route the same day I tried Chess for the first time, one is trying the crux moves, and then another topping the whole thing. That’s when I realised I need to train my endurance first cos I know the whole top part after the launch is going to be a problem for me. So I shift my focus to Chess first.

Today I planned to do the same, work out the cruxes and try and smoothen the endurance part. 

First time I tried is at about 10pm and the morning sun was scorching on my back so I can’t even get the 2nd crux done cos its so hot I got a headache 😅

The second time I tried I managed to top it again and learn the moves. But I tight on every draw.

The 3rd time I tried I was hoping to clean the cruxes and see how far I can sustain at the top. 

After I passed the second crux, the launch, I tried to rest the best as I can before gearing up the top part. And one moves after another, I feel like I can managed the pump well. And I managed to find a good position to rest. And when I got past the crack section, I started to think, Hey if I’m relaxed enough, I could probably send this thing today.🤷🏻‍♀️

So I breathe and try to relax and I send it!

It’s the total opposite with Chess where I expect to send it in a few tries but I don’t. And Stigmata, I expect I’ll take a while to send it, probably spend the whole next week to send it but I got it earlier than I thought. 

Thank God.

So I should probably think what am I going to work on the next week. Foreign Investment? Prophylaxys or straight to Osmosis?

All for the iconic roof - Chess, Nyamuk Wall

Eversince I send Pear, I have been looking at this route thinking I would totally enjoy climbing this one. The iconic roof is so inviting not mentioning the instagram-worthy shot when you’re cut loose -ing on the roof.😍😎

But the other guys advised me to straight away move to Harry’s Code first since it is the same style with Pear. 

So after I send Harry’s Code, I decide to not follow the Acan-Pian-Hatta send train by doing Stigmata, instead I wanted to do something on my own first, so I can experience the feeling of figuring out the beta all by myself. So I choose Chess.

Chess, 7a

9 bolts + anchor, sketchy slab start with slopers and pinches, until 3rd draw, overhanging until 7th draw, roof section, crack, crimps section then anchor.

2cruxes, one is going out from the roof, second one is from the 9th draw to the anchor.

Some don’t consider going out of the roof as the crux, so it depends on individual style and strength.

So last Saturday, I tried placing the draw first, expectedly I couldn’t get past the roof. The move going out from the roof feels too powerful to me. 

Then I tried again on Sunday, this time I managed to go out from the roof by jamming my knee, and I managed to place the quickdraw after the roof. Tbh the efficient way to save energy going out from the roof is by not cutting loose of your feet while on the roof. 🤷🏻‍♀️ So the cut loose is just basically for the ‘gram. 😅

After roof part’s done, I still have no idea how to navigate the crack that follows.

So I tried the move, and I managed to topped the route, I felt that its totally doable. We even got the roof shot on Sunday since everyone’s in the mood to climb and shoot.📸

Now that all the draws are placed, I tried again on Tuesday, I was like 92% confident that I can send it on Tuesday when after the first attempt I managed to clip the 9th quickdraw but fell when going to the anchor. But 2 tries after that, I still fell at the same place and got majorly discouraged.😅 I thought I could send it in few attempts but apparently I underestimated the second crux.

So I try it again today make sure I totally get the sequence of the crack, where to hold, where my feet goes, where to clip, how to do the crux move and happy I got to send it today.

So next, I will be back following their send train by projecting Stigmata. Wish me luck!😊